My son is 5 y/o and is displaying some behavioral traits I'm quite concerned about. I am wondering whether some are just typical 5 y/o pushing the boundaries type traits or if its something requiring attention from a specialist.
Faecal incontinence- He was toilet trained around 2 years of age. In the past year or so, he has been incontinent of faeces on numerous occasions. When I ask why he didn't go to the toilet, he'll reply "I didn't feel like going to the toilet" or "I wanted to keep playing instead". After we get him cleaned up, he's very ashamed and will regret his actions, but he'll do it again days or weeks later.
Excitability- When we have visitors, he gets excited to the point of being very hyperactive. He will jump on top of people, start playing quite rough, even after he's been told not to. He will interrupt conversation by yelling over the top of people and it'll be made up words or sentences which are just random words. He will run about the house, throw toys, generally do everything in his power in order to be centre of attention, even if the attention is negative.
I'm also concerned about the amount of prompting and reminding my son requires to carry out routine tasks. I will ask him to go do something, eg brush his teeth. He'll go to the bathroom, get the toothbrush and five minutes later when I go and check on him, he hasn't even begun to brush! Getting him ready for school can be quite the ordeal- there are times I've given him a simple task, let just say handed him the lunch box and told him to put it in his bag, and he's put it on his bed. I'll find it and ask why its not in his bag and he'll go "oh yeah I forgot". Or you have to ask him half a dozen time to put his shoes on. We dont have the tv on in the mornings and he's not allowed to play with his toys, so the amount of distraction is quite minimal.
At school, my son refuse to do certain activities because he would rather do something else, even though the class is doing that one activity. The teacher will try to convince him to participate with the rest of the classroom but he'll refuse and demand to do something else. Of course the teacher doesn't comply with his demands and insists he does what everyone else is doing. He'll show his defiance by doing a poor job of it, sometimes even to the point of hurting himself.
At home he will be quite defiant towards me, sometimes the threat of punishment isn't enough to "snap him out of it". He will answer back, yell and there's no use giving him time out, he wont stay in his room or in a corner.
There are more examples but I think they are the key issues. I am a firm but fair mother, if he acts up, he is punished. He's a lovely boy and is the most loving lil man I know but sometimes he frustrates the hell out of me. If there is something wrong, I'd like to have it addressed but I wonder whether he's just behaving like a typical 5 y/o boy and with boundaries and discipline, he'll learn better behaviour patterns.