Should I seek help for my 10 year old? is he a *********?

[angel1678]

My husband and our family are very worried about our 10 year old son.  We are also worried about our children (4 yo son and 2 yo daughter)  because of his behavior.  Some people are telling me it is completely normal curious behavior and I am over-reacting, but I think we need to seek some professional medical help.  He was diagnosed with ADHD 4 years ago, and is currently taking Metadate for it.   We have some issues withhim controlling his younger brother, which we understand that a lot of it is normal subling behavior.  But with him, he just takes it to another level.  He tells his brother what to say when they are playing (word for word) etc.  We have had some sexual issues lately that has us worried.  I am not sure if it is related but we used to have problems with him wetting/peeing in his room on purpose.  He would also do it in other parts of the house, but mainly in his room.   Then he slowly stopped doing it, but we noticed our younger son starting to do it.  We found out from him that his older brother was telling him to do it.  That has since stopped.    What seems to have taken its place is that now he tells his brother to do things like take off all of his clothes; they could be outside, in their bedroom, always by themselves.  My mother-in-law watches out three children daily while my husband and I work.  She also started watching a friends 4 year old daughter on Fridays.  We found out that our oldest was okaying with our 4 yo son and our friends daughter.  He told them to take of their clothes, shortly there-after my mother-in-law walked in.  We asked both 4 year olds, seperately and they both told us that our 10 yo told them to do it.  We thought at that time we needed to have the sex talk.  We talked about everything from what is sex, to what is considered inappropriate behavior.  Our 10 year old was in many daycares unlike our other 2 children.  So I had told him from a very young age, about not letting people touch your privates, etc.  A couple weeks later my husband walked in on our 4 yo laying on top of our 10 yo "wiggling".  he quickly broke it up, and told our 10 yo that what they were doing was inappropriate.  My husband didn't want to scare our 4 yo, so later he spoke to him privately about it, and asked what they were doing?  Our 4yo told my husband that our 10 yo wanted to practice for his friend.  (a friend in school)  The most recent was yesterday, all three kids were in the bedroom playing cars, then our 10yo ran out yelling "put your clothes on"  "he's naked", when i walked into the bedroom, our 4yo was in the closet trying to put his pants back on.  Later in the evening I took my 10yo with me to the grocery store so that I could talk to him alone.  I explained that his behavior was inappropriate.  My husband and I have talked about taking him to a doctor (psych) to seek some professional help.  I am afraid by taking him to see someone, he may get the idea that something is "wrong" with him.    A few people that know me and my history said it is because of what I went through that has me reacting the way I am.  I was malested by a family friend from ages 4-12, and was raped by a stranger at the age of 14.  Help!  I don't know what to do or where to turn.

[angel1678]

Just an update for everyone:

I called and made an appointment for our son, and we will see this therapist this evening.  Thank you for all of your responses and concerns.  I will post an update after our appointment.

[onceisenough]

you need to take him to the doctor ASAP and protect the young ones, im sorry but thats not normal, and you need to get him away from the other kids before they start thinking that what hes telling them is normal, the first time this happened he should have gone to a psychiatrist especially if someone elses child comes to your house, thank you for writing this because now my husband understand why our son is not allowed at others houses ever, hope your family gets some help

[iris986]

I sounds to me as if you need to get your son into counseling immediately before something worse happens. If you see the signs then you need to react to them. i too was molested.

[mammo]

I totally agree with the above post, this has gone way beyond curiosity and you need to nip it in the bud now.  Good luck and take care!

[OldFatChick]

I wouldn't let worry about him thinking something is "wrong" with him keep you from taking him to a psychologist.  The therapist should know how to deal with that.  They key thing is to get your son help BEFORE things progress to a level at which he is going to get into trouble at school. It is most likely something that can be dealt with easily by a good therapist.