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Should I stop feeling guilty about childhood sexual play. Is it normal?

I' m 16 and I am going through extreme guilt and regret over 2 childhood incidents. Both when I was 10 or 11 years old. I went to my grandma's home where my cousin sister who was 6 or 7 years came we were playing a game in which I was mother and she was the child. When it was the time to feed the baby we thought we would act like breast feeding (and at that time we had no boobs at all). In one chance I was the mother and in another she. When I was acting of changing her nappy and gone through little inspection. My father came in at that time, I told him that I was changing her nappy he didn't say anything .
Another when my brother was 5 years . We were wearing our pants only . He touched my boobs and we laid on each other. (Probably I told him to do so )
I have told these incidents to my mom and she says it's alright after all you were just a small child. I always grew between younger children and had no one to play with of my age. My mother until then had never told me about sex or privacy. Nor did I have any exposure to adult content until then. Can you help me with this I'm overwhelmed with feeling of regret and feel very depressed. I wonder how they feel do they feel they were offended . I had no idea of what I was doing then. Is it normal should I move on.
2 Responses
189897 tn?1441130118
COMMUNITY LEADER
It is normal to feel guilty.  That is what good, caring people do.  It is also very normal to do some sexual exploring at the 10/11 year old age.  However, I really don't call what you were doing sexual exploring, as it was more like imitating adult behavior.

And, if this was a one time only event with each child, I tend to doubt if they even remember it...especially at that age.  

Telling your mom was a good thing to do because keeping this bottled up inside of you has obviously impacted you.  And, her response was correct.  So, yes, its time to move on.  The only damage done was apparently to your own sense of self worth.  And, if you did not have such a good sense of self worth - this would not have bothered you at all.   Point being, someone who takes the time to write into a forum, and be concerned about this - obviously has some concerns.  However, the reason you have these concerns is because you are a good person!

Oh, keep in mind that your brother is now old enough to want to do a bit of exploring himself.    If he starts getting too frisky, that might be the time to say, " hey, I tried that once and it has really bothered me ever since."

Hope this helps.  Best wishes.
3 Comments
Thanks ...But was this normal plz tell me because I can only forgive myself if this was normal. And that one with my brother had happened once . And another 2 times it only involved him touching my naked boobs.
As I said above, at that age it’s very normal.
YES, it is perfectly normal behaviour. It was just childhood experimentation, nothing more.
YOU DID NOTHING WRONG!! You are a good person. Please believe me.
Avatar universal
The truth sets you free, so I'm not going to sugar coat this, but unfortunately, what you did is considered sexual abuse given your age at the time and their age at the time. IF genitals or nipples were touched or any kind of sexual behavior. Don't freak about this either, but it is also considered incest. According to the World Health Organization. That being said, that doesn't mean that you intended it to be that. Obviously not. But that doesn't mean that it won't affect them or you in the long run if it isn't dealt with. I would seek professional opinion on this. The best you could do for them is simply apologize to them. What you want to avoid is them feeling like that is all that they are good for. It may be a difficult conversation to have, but that is where a trained professional can guide you. Also, you will no doubt have to have therapy for yourself. You feel guilt and you have to work through that. The worst thing you can do is carry shame around with you for the rest of your life. It will affect you. You are 16 and you have your whole life ahead of you. Learn compassion and kindness for yourself. May I suggest Ajahn Brahm on YouTube. You didn't know what you were doing and you must be kind to yourself. Don't exile a part of yourself away. You must love all of your parts, including that part that felt sexual. You are human and it is okay.
1 Comments
I was 8 when my sister did something. It changed me. I am 40 now and I am now just dealing with it. It went on for a couple years, though. Don't just blow it off and listen to someone that says "they probably don't remember it". I remember what show I was watching, what I was wearing, what season it was. She finally wanted to pay attention to me. 30 years later and here I am, working through that among a host of other things. I don't talk to her now. She never apologized, never talked about it. It's a tough call. I wish you the best.
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