Should Santa bring presents or coal?

[WendyR]

My son is almost 7 and we are constantly battling w/ his behavior.  He knows that Santa is watching and that he only brings presents to good little boys and girls.  The problem is how do we define

[lucylocket2]

One year my dh was terrible! Starting the sassy mouth and all. I have always put the gifts in the same spot every year. 2 years ago -i didn't . I put her sisters in the same, but hid hers. I printed a not on the computer from Santa. It said -

  What your feeling right now is what your parents feel when you have a sassy mouth. It breaks thier hearts and they feel let down. I will give you one more chance. Follow the coal to the gifts.
    When she got to the gifts another note said -  i can always come back and get them. Be a good girl!

[hollyberry2581]

my son is 7 and i have the EXACT same problem. i'm going to cehck out that book!

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

I would definitely not deprive him of gifts. That strategy would serve only to cause him to feel badly. He would learn no lesson fromm it. As a general rule of thumb, it's not helpful to hold 'significant events over our kids' heads. By significant events I mean such celebrations as Christmas, birthdays, special trips (e.g., Disney World, amusement parks). We sometimes want to use these things as leverage because we assume that holding them over our kids' heads will bring about 'good' behavior. But it's not a useful strategy, and we usually just end up painting ourselves in a corner we don't want to be in. The same thingapplies to taking away toys for such a long period of time. If you want a tried and true, practical, effective method of behavior management, hang your hat on the plan described in Lynn Clark's wonderful book SOS: Help for Parents. You won't go wrong.