Six yr. old suspended from school

[stacey]

My daughter is tortured by this 7 yr. old boy in her class.  She complains about him everyday.  He is in her face calling her names, just being plain obnoxious.  This has been ongoing since school started.  The teacher has separated them but that does not help.  Yesterday she was suspended from school because she slapped him in the face.  Secretly, I was almost happy about it. But when I picked her up I explained to her that she must use words and that she violated and disrespected another person's basic rights.  She said that she just couldn't handle it anymore. Frustration got the best of her.  I would like to discuss this issue with the school again and with the boy's mother.  What are my child's rights in school?  What results, if any, should I expect from the school?  Is this behavior a precursor for something more serious?

Thank You,
Stacey

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

Dear Stacey,

Even though your daughter's behavior is understandable in the face of what you describe as constant torment, you did the correct thing by setting limits with her and insisting that physical violence is not an acceptable response. The school also did the correct thing by demonstrating that the school will not permit physical aggression.

It certainly makes sense to pursue this matter. Every student is entitled to a safe educational environment; every child deserves to be protected from anyone who might be preying on them. Be sure to inquire, from different perspectives, what is happening in the relationship between your daughter and this boy. If you find that your daughter is being victimized by the boy, insist that the school take measures to protect your daughter from such unreasonable behavior. The school needs to take a strong stance, just as it did when your daughter received her suspension.

[Diane]

In My opinion, Your daughter did the only thing she she could do.

Put your self in her shoes for just one second. She was obviously being harrassed.
she thought she was doing the rite thing by telling you, because in school that's what the teachers tell them to do. You told the teacher about it. At that point it is the teachers job to pay extra attention to the problem. The "teacher" obviously had other things on his/her mind, and did NOT do the job.
So think about that for a minuet.

Now put your self in the same stuation. if you were at work, with no option to get upand leave. some guy is in your face calling you names. you tell your boss and he/she says don't worry I will take care of it, (like your daughter told you) You think it is going to stop, but nothing happens. After you told the most powerfull person in the office.(you are the most powerfull person in the world to your daughter) You are still being teased and harrassed. now this is goig on every day, you feel let down, what are you going to do?       Do you think he would stop if you asked him nice?

I agree we should do every thing we can to teach children that hitting people is wrong, but what do you tell them to do, after they do everything their supossed to do, and it don't work? there comes a point when you NEED to defend yourself. and what she did was selfdefence. As for your daughter's rights, stand up for them. Get a good lawyer and sue the school, and the boys parrents for harrassment, and neglect. You DO have a case. Perhaps then, the boy's parents will teach him some respect.

Best of luck, in what ever you choose to do.