"Step son" does every and anything to get in trouble

[Mommy123890]

This post is going to sound absolutely beyond horrible.
I have a son whom I have full custody and my boyfriends son who is the same age as my son I texhnically have full custody of also. My son sometimes is with his dad but my boyfriends son I have everyday all day. He does not go with his mother and my boyfriend works seven days a week. My son is no angel but he listens I raised him the complete opposite of how my boyfriends son is. ( little background both boys are four years old I've been with my boyfriend for 15 months we have lived together 6 months) my boyfriends son does not listen at all he doesn't listen to his dad doesn't listen to me. We have literally tried everything and he still doesn't listen. He gets into everything breaks destroys everything. Hate to say I can not stand him and I'm always with him just looking at him pusses me off I even started smoking cigarettes the past few months because my boyfriends son is so out of control and it stresses me out beyond believe. Did anyone else have this "problem" with your other halts childten? O

[specialmom]

I am probably not going to be popular but I think you need to not be with this boys father.  The son and dad are a pair.  And it is not fair for that child to live in a home with someone that is so irritated by him.  The dad never should have done that to this child.  This will get much worse as he gets older and the constant comparing this 'rotten' child to your 'angel' will do this boy so much damage.  

This is not an ideal situation.  The boy deserves a peaceful home.  It would be better if his dad and he moved with his grandmother or something like that where he can get love and caring that is genuine and not forced.  

That is my honest opinion.  

I can give you lots of ideas on how to s uck your own feelings, how to help a child whose behavior is less than ideal, etc.  But you will always be unhappy with this child.  You will therefore always be unhappy in this home with this man.  And so will your own child.  Too much stress for EVERYONE.  You, your son and this other boy.  

So, I think you need to find another living arrangement.  good luck

[Sandman2]

    Well, there is a  reason that it is called the terrible 3's.  The unfortunate thing is that this little guy went through it (and the two's) without much guidance.  While some baby sitters can be pretty good, having many means no consistency.  Yes, I agree that he should be evaluated for something like ADHD.
    But, the way he has been passed around, there is a pretty good chance that he has not had any consistent behavioral modifications.  Go on Amazon and get the book,  "SOS Help for Parents," by Lynn Clark.    It will give you a system that will work.  Essentially, to change a childs behavior it takes about 3 weeks of very consistent reinforcement using timeouts.  The book explains in detail how to do this.
     This will help you.

[AnnieBrooke]

It sounds like he should be evaluated.  Does the preschool have a list of developmental specialists who do such things?  Possibly this is all due to the trauma of his upbringing, or possibly there is more going on.  I am sorry it has fallen on you, but I'm sorrier for him, he sounds like a true orphan of the storm and it is not quitting.

[Mommy123890]

Yes he use to call his grandma mom up until his dad and I got together then he stopped. He never sees her anymore but if he even sees a car like hers he gets so mad . She constantly was yelling at him because he never listened

[AnnieBrooke]

Does the boy act this way for the grandma who raised him also?  

[Mommy123890]

tonight was just the worst night I've ever had with him so I started googling trying to find similar posts see if anyone had any advice.