No you never tell a small child that her father doesn't want to see her. She would not understand, and most likely blame herself. That is cruel of him to blame her for anything. This sounds like he is not a nice person, and your daughter might be better off without the turmoil of her fathers indecision. There definitely seems to be more to this.
I did not really undersatnd what you meant and you could do with enlarging, but I dont think it would help a 4year old child to be told her Dad dioesnt want to know her.(if you meant that)and if he was to ignore her at school and hurt her I would say take her to another school. there seems to be more to this .