Toddler says disturbing remarks

[jutajach]

I have a 3 1/2 year old boy who will sometimes make comments to me and my husband about "cutting us" with a knife or saw. Is this normal talk for a toddler? Could this be sign of a mental disorder? Please help!

[91004]

Your comments don't offend me, I was just curious to know why you didn't allow it. Even when my kids are playing with play guns I make it very known to them that real guns have bullets and can hurt the same with knives. I don't even watch those movies so no I wouldnt let my son. I just think sometimes it is blown out of proportion. My mother was shot and killed yes it was a accident and no I dont like real guns have never had one in my house, and have never held one. I still let my sons play with toy guns and I will play with them. I am not trying to offend you either.

[krushbc]

I personally don't believe in allowing you children to play with WAR like toys.
Violence is a major problem in the world today and I don't believe in promoting it in anyway, even if they are just toys.
Children may be educated to know that guns are "bad" and can "hurt you", but, that does not nessessarily mean they would not touch or play with a real one.
I have seen several REAL guns that look very much like toys, and don't believe that you should influence your children.
I'm sure you would not allow your  4yr old to sit and watch a " hack and slash" movies ( The SAW movies,Casino, or Natural Born Killers for example) so, then why would you want to promote them playing with toys and acting out scenarios very much like ones these films.??
I realize everybody has their own opinions about this topic and for some it could be a very touchy subject,  I appologize if I have offended anyone.
I just think about what it would feel like if my child was ever shot or stabbed to death, either at school by accident, and take whatever steps I can to encourage the use of words instead.

[91004]

Is there a reason why you don't want them to play with them. They are children. Just because they say things or play with toy guns or swords don't mean they are going to grow up mentally ill. My son is 4 and plays with guns, swords, and chainsaws, all toys of course. But I have also taught him the difference between real and fake. He knows a real gun and can hurt you. You just have to teach them the difference and let them know what can hurt them and what can't.

[krushbc]

Can anyone tell me why it is that little boys turn anything they play with into guns or swords???
I don't allow this at my house. I do not promote this with war like toys, games or movies.
It almost seems to be pre-programed in their little brains, along with the sounds that follow.
Any ideas??

[Rosilina]

I agree to what lilipe1221 says.  If you ignore, the problem will go away.  I have two young very strong willed children and know that if they see something makes you tick (either in a good but most deffinately in a bad way) they will press that button time and again.  Maybe next time when he says that take him on you lab and tell him that what he says is not nice and that this will be the last time that you will react to his comment and then you stick to what you said.  Do not blinck an eye when he says those words again.  Kids are very observant and will know when you act or react on something.  If he uses those words turn away from him that he has your back to him and continue with something out of the ordinary.  Would love to hear in a weeks time if he is still doing it. I have a feeling that by then he would have found something else to keep himself busy with

[91004]

My son is 4 and says stuff like that to everyone. It sounds like he is just being a kid. He has probally picked it up a day school and thought it was funny. My son loves to scare people, so he will get his fake chain saw and say he is going to cut your leg off. We just laugh and go on.

[jutajach]

thank you so much for your comment...

i've been sort of walking in a cloud today since the remark incident by my DS. i have been a mess...crying, getting angry, sad..and the cycle repeats over again for the last 24 hours. the thing i can't seem to wrap my head around is that otherwise, my DS is such a mama's boy and very affectionate toward me...this is why i'm confused as to why he would make such remarks. of course, i start to go through things in my mind as to where such talk came from especially when i ask him if he heard it being said before and he says "no." the thing is also that whenever he gets overly excited (as normal toddlers do), the remarks just come out randomly....it's never vicious or malicious, you know? he almost seems to be trying to be funny about it. at this point, picking his nose would be sufficiently funny to me than that!

anyways, i've been trying to "google" this to see if there is anything on it about kids' age and such...no such luck thus far. however, hearing from few other parents about disturbing remarks made by their toddler does give me some reassurance that it's only a phase. i'm keeping my fingers crossed and if anything, will definitely confer with his doctor about it.

thanks again for your time and concern.

christine (jutajach)

[lilipe1221]

MY DD NOW 4 ABOUT 10 MONTHS AGO SAID KIND OF THE SAME THING, I FELT TERRIBLE AS IN YOUR CASE SHE ONLY WATCHES PBS AND NOGGIN,AND NOR ME OR MY HUSBAND USE ANY KIND OF VIOLENT LANGUAGE EVER.., SHE SAID IT 4 OR 5 TIMES EVERY TIME I WOULD NOT PAY ATTENTION ONLY SAID "THAT IS NOT NICE TO SAY AND SINCE YOU ARE A NICE GIRL YOU ONLY SHOULD SAY LOVING THINGS TO YOU MOMMY"AND GO ON WITH WHAT I WAS DOING,SHE OUTGROW IT , IT WAS DIFFERENT BECAUSE SHE WILL SAY IT WHEN SHE WAS UPSET ,I THINK THEY ARE SEEKING ATTENTION,I WOULD TRY TO TEACH HIM WAYS TO BE FUNNY IN A DIF WAY,JOKES ,SILLY FACES OVER-REACTING TO THIS AND IGNORE THE BAD BEHAVIOUR,HOWEVER IF IT DOESNOT IMPROVE WITH THE ADQUISITION OF NEW COMUNICATION SKILLS AND SOCIAL SKILLS IN THE NEXT 6 MONTHS I WILL TALK TO PED , GOOD LUCK

[margypops]

Yes I do know, and now you have enlarged I can see some daylight, it is perhaps something he has heard and it seemed a scary /important thing to say, as it was in a jokey way that is how you should take it. Let it go and not say any more I assume you saidto him  it made you sad, for him to say that , time to not talk about it again and always ask your Doctor if it seems there is a problem.

[jutajach]

it's so random at the times he has said something like that....

it's never in an aggressive tone...and if anything, sort of in a joking-sense of humor way...as if he is trying to be funny. i notice that whenever he gets excited and gets going (as a normal toddler does), the comment gets thrown in there with the conversation....does that make any sense?

as for day school situations...of course, i have to take into account...perhaps other kids do say things of that nature to one another (to be funny or whatever) but i tend to always look at my immediate situation first before anything. i feel that since I'M the parent, it's my fault or something i did...you know?

[margypops]

Yes I would most certainly ask your pediatrician what he thinks , what about school or day care or a babysitter,perhaps there are children at school who make remarks he could pick up on.Also what is the context he says it to you is in a threatening manner or is it like if he was eating with a knife it could cut you, if it slipped ,manner?

[jutajach]

thanks for responding to my comment...

to answer yours....

no, i limit his shows to only a few that are on PBS (curious george, etc....those types)....

computer wise...he plays games on the PBSKids.org website and NOGGIN.com website...all very child friendly.

adult conversations...well, he is only around me majority of the time (i'm a stay at home mom) and he attends day school during the week day mornings....and my husband is in the navy, gone most of the day. so, no, i can comfortably say that to my account, that is not spoken by myself, husband, or learned at school.

that is why i'm so confused. i would have to honestly say that he has lived a very sheltered life and attends a very respectable day school. i myself, since staying home with him, have too, lived a sheltered life for the last 3 years.

i'm at a sort of loss at this point and am trying to wrap my head around this situation. should i take him to a pediatrician or a specialist (psychiatrist)?

[margypops]

What has happened previously to this ,and where has this child heard these remarks ,small children do not say this kind of thing on their own volition,is there inappropiate TV on or anything on the PC they can see , does he overhear adult conversation?He does not have a meantal disorder I suggest you take him to see the Doctor and tell him what your child said to you.