Toddler with sleep issues

[adgal]

I am not certain if this is the best place to ask, but am at my wits end.  My son is almost 21 months old.  He has never been a great sleeper, but it has recently become a nightmare.  It started when we moved into a new home.  He would go down just fine in his own crib/room.  We have a strong and consistent bedtime routine (bath, story/cuddles, lights out).  All of a sudden he began waking up anywhere from midnight to 3 am and will scream until I bring him into bed with us.  That is absolutely the only thing that calms him down, and I have tried it all.  This has progressed to refusing to go down for naps (and no question, he is tired and still needs them) and now refusing to go to bed at all without us.  He is a restless sleeper and no one gets any sleep this way.  I have read a multitude of books on the subject (as well as on line articles) and still no success.  I don't want to let him cry it out, but am not seeing any other option at this point?  I would be so grateful if you had any advice or insight as to what is going on with him?  (I should note, he has also become quite clingy compared to his normal self...does not like me out of his site for even a minute.  I work three days a week and am home with him the rest of the time.  He has been left with a babysitter perhaps 5 times since birth outside of the 3 days at daycare).  Thanks so much.

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

It sounds like you know what you have to do. You may not like the idea of letting him cry it out, as you say, but you are only reinforcing the behavior every time you bring him in with you. In other words, you are supporting the very behavior you say you want to stop. If you want this to change, you are going to have to bite the bullet and stop handling the situation by taking him out of his crib to be with you.

[adgal]

Sorry, a couple of things to add.  Our home is a stable one so I am fairly certain there is no true insecurity.  There is no fighting or violence, and he is never hit or even yelled at. He has a strong bond with both daddy and I.  He seems to like his daycare and is very social.  The staff speak highly of him and there is no aggressive behaviour on his part beyond the odd incident of hitting or biting which they say is in normal boundaries as he learns to express frustration properly.  He is healthy and has been hitting milestones at a pretty normal pace.  A very normal child with a very normal life.  Just not sure what is going on here.  Thanks again.