Video games/ pooping your pants

[BrandyC1]

My 11 year old since he was 5 years old has been pooping his pants a couple times a week. He has been to doctors and alot of x-rays. He does from time to time has to take miralax when he is backed up. It has been about 2 years  since he realy pooped his pants, now our problem is he will not take his time in the bathroom and wipe correctly. Sometimes we find out he has been holding his poop in,then he gets back up and we have to give him Miralax. In the past we tried rewards but it only worked so long. He use to not be confortable going at school and hold it until he got home. No problems now with that. The smell does not seem to bother him and we are always saying to him that kids are going to notice and kids can be so mean. I am afraid he will have to be teased before he will start taking care of him self. The times we notice the smell and find smears in his pants is after he is playing video games or watching t.v. When this happens we take his games away and t.v until the problem is fixed.
He will do good for about 2 months and back to the same thing again. I am so tired of this that i am not calm anymore and even cry during our talk. I am pulling my hair and stressing over this. Please help us. Thank you Brandy

[Rizzolee]

I did that when younger. I was cursed with recurring major depression and experienced episodes as far back as I rememer. Combine that with almost non existent potty training and the result should be obvious. I rememer being told by a doctor it was laziness plain and simple. I remember a counseler came to our house and actually answering the questions for me "whats your favorite subject ? ......uh, before i could reply reading she said "recess on the playground , right ? I hung my head and agreed but recess was something I hated. How does a 7 year old kid articulate the horror of severe depression ?  Most don't and suffer in silence. I experienced trauma from a violent alcholic father and that combined with depression had to be a major contributing factor. Why didn't I tell anyone I felt so bad I welcomed death ? No one ever asked. Not implying this is the cause but it's the cause in many cases and then almost always ignored and written off as "laziness".

[Jim_James]

My Son Has The Same Issue He Is 1o with epilepsy and does it still i don't know why this is happening and i can relate to it. Has your son had laxative? it causes poops my son hasn't but I'm trying to help you out here Same Issue Thx if you come up with a  solution i would like to hear it :) -James

[Sandman2]

You might want to check out this link on fecal retention.  It pretty well covers the whole problem.  It is definitely worth your time to read as you need to decide if it is something like fecal retention or just not being able to use the bathrooms.  The link is - http://www.practicalgastro.com/pdf/November02/LoeningBauckeArticle.pdf

[supermomma531]

The only thing I can think of is that this situation probably won't be fixed until something drastic happens such as other kids teasing him about his cleanliness. Sometimes this is the only way to fix a problem of this sort of nature. Also too, there will come a time that he'll begin to like people and will have to shape up in order to grab their attention. I think that if you just left him alone for a while, he'll fix things himself. Kids tend to do things like this in order to get attention from their parents. Is there a chance of there being a underlying problem that existed before this problem started? Anything from family changes, losing somebody of importance to him, switching schools, divorce, death, anything? Some kids don't realize what they've done until it has been pointed out to them. Some kids just don't care until that moment of "aha!" happens to them. He could just be doing it because he knows it bugs you and this is his way of getting attention. I think that if you were to take away his games for more than a week or two, show him who is in control, then this may get to him and continue to be on him about his habits of cleanliness. It certainly sounds like he knows what he is doing especially if he has already shown you that he knows how to fix the problem after having something he cherishes taken away. Have you ever made him clean his own laundry by hand first before it goes into your machine? This may make him realize how much work it is to clean up after him and how gross it is to have to clean his own underwear.

[Rizzolee]

And people wonder how so many kids and teens committ suicide.