What advice can I give my daughter

[Nana848]

My daughter female twins, age 6.  The twin occasionally has throws tantrums just as the kids are getting ready to go to school.  This morning it began when my daughter told the twin that she could not take her doll to school.  She could take her doll in the spring when the weather was better.  When it was time to get into the car and she still was not able to take her doll (American Girl), she got angry and this escallated into a tantrum.   As my daughter tried to put her into her car seat she started hitting and pulling my daughters hair.  She would not stay in her car seat and ultimately went the short distance to school un-buckled.  My daughter called the school on the way over to have the school counselor meet her in front of the school.  She was in a meeting but the school secretary said she would come out.  The twin would not get out of the car.  My daughter ended up taking the twin into the school office and left the twin screaming and kicking with the counselor, secretary and the principal.  My daughter was late for work...  

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

She handled the situation well by proceeding to school and letting the staff take over from there. This behavior can be indicative of emotional disorder and your daughter should arrange an evaluation with a pediatric mental health professional to figure out if this is a normal-spectrum child behavior problem or symptomatic of emotional disturbance. From the point of view of behavior management, your daughter should consult Lynn Clark's very useful book SOS help for Parents (see www.sosprograms.com).

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

There is an excellent Child Team at Wellesley and they will be able to respond to the situation.

[Nana848]

Dr. Kennedy thanks for the answer.  So far, this is happening in spurts.  I suspect that at this time it is within the normal-spectrum of behavior.  I also believe that it is her way of trying to get her way.  I have told my daughter that often her decision to talk to her daughter when she misbehaves my not always be the best way.  She tells me that what was done when I was a child and when she was a child was too drastic.  I will tell her about the book and will send her this response and others that I may get from this website.  Thanks for the response and the clinical advice.  We both have PCs in Wellesley and Braintree is not far away...   Susan