What is appropriate?

[anniep313]

Looking for feedback, I’m 36 year old woman engaged to a 39 year old man; he has full custody of his 16 year old daughter.  I recently spoke with him about how awkward I feel when he is laying on the couch with her and/or when her head is lying in his lap and he is caressing her arms/back. I feel there is nothing sexual there…but I still feel awkward/uncomfortable when I see it? He states he wants to show her appropriate male affection and was offended when I brought it up! He also brought up if he didn’t fulfill her need of affection, she would find it from a teenage guy. Am I being overzealous?  My boundary of appropriate affection with a 16 year daughter/father is hugging, kissing on the cheek and using positive statements.

[Earthgal]

I had a similar question but it was answered here as well. My late husband used to go as far as sitting inside the bathroom while his ex-wife's 16 yr old was in the tub. I mentioned that I felt that was not a good idea and he about hit the roof. I always wondered if there was something I didn't know about. Ya know? : (

[anniep313]

Thank you for your help Dr. Kennedy! Can you offer any resources that I can refer to when talking to him about what is appropriate touch between a teenage daughter and father?  I feel I can't let this go...I need to continue to address this with him!

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

His behavior is without doubt inappropriate. Such behavior is not within normal bounds for the father of a sixteen-year-old.