Why does my 8 year old act like a toddler?

[Luckiiee]

My daugther will turn 8 years old at the end of the month.  I'm step mom, so she moved in with me permanently at age 5.  She seems extremely immature to me, I don't know if this is because I am comparing her to my behaviors at her age, but she seems to do many things that she should be way beyong at this age.  She still sticks her fingers in her mouth all of the time, she has a very obvious oral fixation.  She bites her brother.  She draws on furniture.  She has no concept of personal space, she is extremely touchy with other children.  She treats children her age, and even older children, like they are little toddlers.  I've seen her ask a 12 year old boy to move out of her way by saying, "Excuse me little boy."  On Halloween she saw a boy her own age at the door, and said, "awwwww, he's so cute," as if she was an adult looking at a child.  There are many other signs here and there. I have to run.  Bye

[supermomma531]

If my children make messes like drawing on my walls or furniture, I make them clean it up. Then they learn to not only to clean up after them selves but to keep the furniture nice and clean and tidy. When they get caught or you know who the person is, I talk to them about it. But I don't shut up until I know what I'm saying has gotten through to them. Everything they do wrong, they should be held responsible and have to fix their problem. This will also help to make them critical thinkers and be able to make decisions on their own when they need to. If they refuse to clean up their mess, then they get to spend lots of time in their rooms. But I use the rooms as a last resort, this way they don't get to rest too much. As for the finger thing, I'm still trying to get my 10 yr old girl to stop putting her thumb in her mouth! I think that when they're ready to stop, they will. I won't let my daughter wear nail polish until she stops. I still have issues with getting my daughter and eldest son to help with chores. But we're slowly getting better. Good Luck

[Ihatethispain]

OH! and with the finger in her mouth thing...tell her about all the germs and how it makes you REALLY sick. This scares them into stopping thumb sucking. :) (They even have distasteful gel you can put on their fingers to help them stop.

[Ihatethispain]

Hi,

   Sounds like a little handful you got there. As you probably know, some children just seem to take forever to grow up. Its normal that some kids seem to mature slower than others...although it is mostly seen in young boys, but there are girls too...in this case. Its a process...but when you get through it....its all good!

   My brother is 13...and seems to act more nine than a teenager. We tell him all the time, "You have to grow up Trent!" We get flustered and irritated....BUT, it doesn't work. But then there is another way. Giving them an adult responsibility or regarding them as a "big boy, or big girl" and using that as a way to train them.

    You might just have to sit and explain to her what you are going to start doing, explain that she's becoming a big girl and that she can help you with things. This is going to take time...so be as patient as possible. Let her help you with dishes...bring her to the store and ask her her opinion on an outift and whatnot. Even though she is just turning eight....this could let her see life through older eyes.
   Let her have her fun of course! Just explain to her how saying someone her own age is cute...isn't the thing she wants to do...and tell her why.

    Don't let her draw on the furniture, keep the crayons out of reach until she decides to be a big girl and use paper.

This is the basic tenchique you can try. Keep a firm hand and be encouraging!

   I hope this helped! :)