Why does my child behave like this?

[noahyrksmom]

My son is 3 years old. I am unable to take him in public. From the time he was born he was a very needy child always sick, cried constantly and could not hold down formula.When he started to walk and talk the tantrums and screaming started. Most children would play by themselves noah needed constant attention. He would get frustrated or angry over normal childhhod obstacles and beat his head on the floor or punch himself. When he got to the age of two the self infliction stopped and he began to take it out on others. He will hit, kick, bite, or throw things at anyone nearby when angry, including our puppy. When you try to play with him he gets too wound up and gets aggressive. He won't sit down, not even to eat. If you want him to stay quiet he has to be constantly entertained. He always has an enormous amount of energy or is exuasted. He sleeps 8 to 9 hours at night but will not take a nap. He just lays in bed and sings or talks. He sometimes has meltdowns he will throw a tantrum for hours and sweat profusely until he falls asleep. He has had friends over and they quit coming over because noah is constantly doing something the aggravate them. He takes their toys, hits, and throws things at them when he is angry. But he is not always angry. Noah can be very funny and laugh and he is very smart. He started walking at 9 months and spoke full sentences by the age of two. At two and a half he knew the alphabet, his numbers to 20, could sign, knew his shapes and colors. The preschool has told me that god chose the right mother because it takes a very special parent to parent a child like noah although they love him dearly. He has had some problems in school he has to be removed from the room at naptime because the other children can not sleep with him being loud. When you talk to him he can not listen he has a very hard time paying attention and constantly fidgets. He also eats very poorly and has a very picky appetite. I love my son dearly and I only wish the best for him. Please tell me what is wrong so that we can be happy.

[benjimom]

I would tell the biological dad he needs to be consistent, coming in and out of children's lives is not fair, you are either there or you aren't.  YOu have to be one or the other.  It would almost be better if he were not there if he will just disappear for months at a time.  Does seeing his father seem to make any difference in his behavior.  

Have you looked up Sensory Processing disorder to see if your son has any of those characteristics, if you haven't please do.  There is a book called the Out of Sync Child. See if you can buy or get a copy from the library.  See if it fits your son.  

He sounds like a child who needs a special parent and you are one, you deserve some recognition.  It's very exhausting!!  Please keep up updated.

[noahyrksmom]

I left his biological father when noah was 12 months old. Since I left his father has been in and out of his life. For six months he would show up for a visit every saturday and see him for about 2 hours. Then he would disappear for 6 months again. He is now back again and has been having supervised visits in my home until he developes a good relationship with noah. His father never spent time with him as a baby I was a stay at home mom and have raised noah by myself until I met my husband. We have been together since noah was 2. He loves his step dad and listens to him better than anyone. They have a very good relationship.

[RockRose]

It sounds like you need to have him evaluated by an Occupational Therapist.  

What is his father like?