Why is my 3 year old so mean?

[singlemomof6]

My three year old is always hitting me,and his sisters (which are 4 and 2).if he is not hitting us he is throwing anything he can pick up and throw. he spit at us and yells out at you.most of the time it is I hate you! he has always hit me even when he was 4 months old .but it has got worse here in the last year.but yet he can be out in public and he does not show that side. every one think he is an angel. they don't believe me when i tell him how mean he is.he has stab his little sister with a screw driver once because she got to close to him. i ask him were he found it.and he would not tell me.i dont know what to do anymore. i cry bout the thought of what he might do one day. i know this might sound like i am bad mother but it has got to the point were i have thought bout seen if there is some where i could send him to get help. he can do things for him self but he does not speak very well. atleast  at the level he should be at.and if he wants something and you tell him no he will scream for hours. i have tried timeout and other ways but it does not work it even will make it worse. he does not let up i have tried to go to another room and lock myself in there but he will follow me. sit by the door and scream. i will stay in there until stops (when i can) but i soon as i come out he starts right back at it . and it not crying it yelling and screaming and kicking. i just dont know what else to do . and i am sure i left out alot of things . please if you tell me what might help me. i am willing to try any thing.

[singlemomof6]

thank you for your comments. to answer your question no his dad has not been around for two years now. even when he was here my son still acted this way . just not as bad. it just has got worse over the year. as for my dad he has passed away. so it just me and my kids. i also have 3 other kids to. so i have a total of six kids. i have 10 year old boy, 8 year old boy , 4 year old girl,3year old boy, 2 year old girl,and 9 months old boy. he is not mean towards the others unless they are mean to him. i can also tell you this when he was 2, his lil sister was only 9 months. i told him no he could not have a soda and he went up to his lil sister and kicked her in the stomach. i have seen him go up to her and hit, pinch, or even pull her hair for no reason at all. and then walk away laughing at her. see with taken him to doctors . i want to but when he goes places he does not act like that. he is the best child ever.( unless he is in bad mood then ever body see it.) but only when in the company of strangers. as soon as we are in pravite he goes back to himself. the dr. would not believe me if i was to tell him how he is.but i will try he has one tomorrow with the endo to see if he has diabetes. and i will go tomorrow to make an appt. but if there is any thing i can do. any thing let me know. thank you again singlemomof6

[BrooklynMama]

Hi Single Momof6, it sounds rough, hang in there.  i have a four year old girl who hits and kicks me and screams when she doesn't get her way so i know it can be upsetting and scary and i also know i don't have all the answers. i have been trying to give her more one on one time and to praise her for when she is helpful or sweet or patient. maybe he fells like his little sister is getting more attention. Attacking his sister with a screwdriver is serious -  make sure he knows this is absolutely not okay to hurt people including the kicking and hitting YOU -  when my daughter does this I tell her "we don't hurt people". And by the same token, I'd avoid using physical punishment on him.  It  I agree that it's a good idea to talk to a doctor also to see if there could be an issue that needs treatment. Let your son know you love him and that he's special to you. Again, hang in there, and you are doing something good for him by reaching out to others for advice and talking and thinking about what you can do to make it better for you and him.

[vhc09]

is his dad around or your father? any male relatives who are reasonable and good people?  maybe they could help you with controlling him.

i don't have any real good suggestions for your though. i am sorry you are having to deal with this. i would take him to a doctor to see if there is anything he can find that could be treated.