Why is my eleven year old always angry???

[korngayl]

I have four kids, 28m,24f,13f and an eleven year old son. Whom is my sweetheart, gets everything he wants. Was an honor student in Catholic School until this year (5th grade). His grades have dropped. He's going to summer school, and is always angry. He has no signs of depression from what I can tell. His sarcasm an attitude is putting a strain on our relationship. My husband,his dad says to ignore him and he will stop. Extremely concerned!!!

[Cherie762]

I can relate to you have 13 yo much the same "no signs of depression that you can tell" advice check that out have him evaluated,,,anger,,,drop in grades rudeness, etc are signs of a child who is depressed and is not quite sure how to express self.
I mean you no disrespect at all,,,,I just always believe when in doubt check it out.

My son tested positive for pot NEVER in my wildest dreams..he was home always...he had hit me police got involved he is now on probation for 6 months (about 3 to go) he and I are getting court mandated therapy which is wonderful..he gets random drug tests and lots of other therapy.

No one would know this of him..he is polite to strangers and very very smart.."plays" people,

also hormones he is entering puberty .

just sharing my experience I hope w your son it is just hormones...if you have the ability , decent insurance etc...If I was you it would be a good idea to have a evaluation...maybe start w family doctor...

Good luck, and God Bless
Cherie

[margypops]

Maybe he could use some loss of privileges if he is rude and negative towards you ,you say he gets everything he wants could there be a dynamics in the house hold from the other children , do they have any jealous feelings towards him .I would say for minor incidents  your husband is correct , your son  maybe trying to get more attention by being sarcastic, at 11 year old could he have learnt this trait from anyone in the Family ?  

[MrsMacDugle]

I'll pray that it is only hormonal changes that you're are struggling with.  I know that it may be other things that could be causing the sudden change in your precious child.  But I would like you to think back to when you were his age, when your oldest child was his age & when your two daughters were 1st having their hormone influctions.

I know that it may seem that I'm assuming alot, but I can only assume that the M & F that followed the age was Male & female.  Now with your oldest son, did he have a hormonal change that you noticed?  If not I'm sure that you still noticed a difference in him compared to his sister just a tad younger than he when she had her 1st hormonal change.  Well each child has this influction occur & each child deals with the influction differently.  Not only is he having his chemistry changing on him but his schoolwork is changing on him too, instead of just going over things he has already learned he is now being challenged in school again to see how far he can expand his brain power.  He will need time to adjust to the new demands that are being requested of his brain while he makes the minor/major adjustments in his hormonal self too.  Yes you may have cause for alarm if you didn't experience this with your other children but all children at some time in their life go through a rough patch or two with the parents as they attempt to figure out if they are a child or want to be an adult.

Our attitudes change when our chemistry starts changing, we're not quite a full grown adult even though our bodies are beginning to change from a child to an adult.  Our little minds can't quite wrap our hands around what is causing us to be upset at the slightest improvocation.  So please give yourself & your son time to make these adjustments.  Focus on the positive things that he still is able to do without problems, such as a minor accommplishment of being curteous, helpful & just basic manners.  Try not to feed into his anger of frustration as he probably is already mentally beating himself up for not being able to comprehend his studies as quickly as he once did.  Praise him for what he can do without stress.  Ask if you can help him with topics that he may be getting frustrated with.  Consider how he learns, is he a visual learner? Or as I like to refer to my daughter a hands on learner where you had to not only show but allow her to cut items up into the necessary fractions in order to grasp fractions.  

Time is our friend at this point with our children.  We need to let them know that we suffered through some of our schooling too if we can just remember back that far in our own lives.