Worrisome behavior in 6 yr old

[Worried Mom in CA]

Let me start out by thanking you for your time.  Short of contacting a professional through my insurance, I have exhausted all resources available to me trying to find some help. My daughter will be 7 in January, and is in the first grade.  She has been having behavior problems in school since the first day.  She has "listening" problems mainly, she kind of thinks she makes her own rules in school!  I have been in close contact with her teacher, and we have a calendar that goes back and forth each day monitoring her behavior.  She is rewarded for "good" days and loses priveledges for "bad" ones, however this seems to not be very effective.  She is a very affectionate and emotional child, and also extremely intelligent.  Her father and I have been divorced since she was 3-1/2, and he lives out of state and has not seen her in 2 years and only calls sporadically.  The whole situation surrounding her behavior in school has become very upsetting.  I feel like we are micro-managing her by using the daily scrutiny, yet I don't think she should be permitted to disrupt the class.  On occasion she is argumentative (but not nasty) to her teacher, which I cannot tolerate.  I have discussed with her the importance of respect, yet she seems to live in her own world as far as her behavior is concerned.  Please note we had similar problems in Kindergarten.  She has always been extremely outgoing, she likes to be in the spotlight, and is very much a leader.  I don't want to stifle any of these positive attributes by punishing her, but yet she needs to understand the limits...  I have done a lot of research on gifted children, is it possible she is displaying these behaviors because she is bored in school?  And do you have any suggestions for making her understand how important it is to behave in school and to do what she is there to do...LEARN?  I am at the end of my rope, and the whole thing has become very upsetting for both of us.  Please help any way you can.  Thank you again for your input.

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

Dear Worried Mom,

You are doing the right thing by using a daily report and establishing incentives and consequences based on your daughter's adherence to the classroom rules.

Sometimes such behavior is indicative of a condition called Oppositional Defiant Disorder, but your description of your daughter's personality would not support the probability of this diagnosis. The behavior may be more indicative of a type of impulsivity often associated with Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder, though by no means is this a certainty based on the one symptom alone.

If you are finding that the behavioral approach has not been sufficient to correct the behavior, you might consult with a child mental health professional or school guidance counselor to help you (a) fine tune the behavioral approach and (b) refine the understanding of the particular behavior your daughter is displaying.

I doubt that she is behaving in this fashion due to boredom. To be frank with you, in twenty-seven years of pediatric clinical work, I have never seen an instance when persistent behavioral difficulties were precipitated by boredom. This might happen on an occasional day or brief stretch, but not on a consistent basis.

[maryann]

i know where you coming from. My son has had a notebook tht goes back and forth since kindergarden. He has the behavior problams  and hyperness. He is ADHD. but if your dd isn't hyper maybe she could have the ADD.,or just a implusive behavior. I would try to call your local child services and see what they can do for you since your insurence won't cover much.