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Child Behavior Community
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behavior

I have problem with my son's behavior . he doesn't have ADHD or anything like that he just doesn't listen . I have tried to talk with him in nice way , spank him I have tried everything and nothing works with him. he does listen for day or two and back to old habits . please give me some advice . he is 7 years old

4 Responses
535822 tn?1443976780
Doesnt sound as if spanking him for not listening is working does it and it seems excessive ,What is it he doesnt listen to, a lot of children tune out ,is it at school .at home?
Avatar universal
he doesn't listen at school when teacher tells him to sit down or follow directions . also at home he always wants to be center of the attention . he always says that he is trying his best to be good .he is follower and not leader  . he is very smart but when it comes to do school work he always have to stay back and finish his work  while other kids have recess . he is very lazy when t comes to do his work . he throws tantrum all the time if it don't go his way




Larisa Williams
189897 tn?1441126518
COMMUNITY LEADER
   You say he doesn't have ADHD.  How do you know?  Would you feel bad if he did have ADHD and you are punishing him for something for which he cannot control?
    I don't know if he has ADHD.  I have had very bright kids in class who were not Diagnosed with ADHD till 5th. grade because they were able to handle a lot of the work and were not the typical "run around the classroom" type.  I do know that very bright kids can have ADHD.  I do know that they are easily distracted and don't finish their work on time.  I have always felt that a good sign of ADHD was frustration.  The child knows that they should be able to do the work.  They see their friends doing the work.  They know they are as smart or smarter than their friends.  Yet, they can't seem to get it done.  I would probably throw a few tantrums too if that was happening to me.  In short, you have certainly identified him as having (at least) some of the characteristics of ADHD.
   In a nutshell, you have to know what is going on with him.  If he does have ADHD, it doesn't mean you have to medicate him.  It does mean you have to change the way you and the teacher deal with him.  If he does have ADHD, what you are doing now could really mess him up for a long time.
   If he doesn't have ADHD, then just realize that you can't train kids overnight.  You have to be very consistent.   You might want to read Lynn Clarks' book "SOS: Help for Parents".  
Avatar universal
YOU SAY YOU HAVE SPANKED YOUR CILD , THIS IS NOT THE ANSWER! YOUR CHILD WILL LEARN TO THINK THAT IS THE RIGHT ATTIDUDE TO HAVE IN LIFE, I KNOW IT CAN BE HARD AND STRESSFULL AND VERY UPSETTING. I HAVE A 4 YEAR OLD SON WHO WAS A VERY CHEECKY LAD HE ANSWERED BACK BITE ME HIT ME AND SPAT ON ME , I LEARNED TO DEAL WITH THIS BY STAYING CALM AND NEVER EVER GIVEN INTO HIS DEMANDS TRY THINGS LIKE NAUGHTY STEP IF YOUR CHILD IS 7 KEEP HIM THERE FOR 7 MINUTES LONGER IF NEEDED,IF HE RUNS AWAY CALMLY PUT HIM BACK TRY NOT TO LET IM SEE YOU ARE UPSET BY HIS BEHAVIOUR, ALSO TRY TAKEN HIS MOST PRESIOUS ITEMS AWAY FROM HIM LIKE DVD PLAYERS COMPUTER GAMES TOYS ETC.. AND DO NOT GIVE THEM BACK UNTIL HE REALISES HE CAN NOT GET AWAY WITH THIS ANY LONGER OR HE WILL CONTINUE TO WALK ALL OVER YOU. REMEMBER YOU ARE THE ADAULT AND HES THE CHILD DO NOT LET HIM RULE YOU! I HOPE THIS HAS BEEN HELPFUL BUT REMEMBER IT DOESENT WORK OVER NIGHT IT WILL TAKE A FEW WEEKS ALSO WATCH THINGS HE IS EATING OR DRINKING THAT COULD BE TRIGGERING THIS BEHAVIOUR OFF.
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189897 tn?1441126518
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