boy in trouble?

[calication]

Hi.
I am concerned about a friend of mine who is a single parent to a 4 yr old boy after divorcing her husband after his constant drug use.
She is once a year sending her boy to relatives for 1 month , every time the boy gets back he has trust issues, anger problems, if she is out of his sight he freaks out, severe temper tantrums a.s.o.
she is already talking about sending him away for another month this summer.
Dad is babysitting once a week in her home and is very jealous when she sees other men for dating.
What can this do in the long run for this boy, i feel so sorry for him.
thank you for your help.

[MrsVain]

i agree she is placing herself and what she wants before thinking of her child, she sounds just as bad as the druggy daddy.

my question is if you care for the little boy, why cant you watch him while she goes out and for the 1 month she has to work or travel. then at least he can go back to his moms house at night and might not feel so bad.

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

You can't solve this. She is placing her needs ahead of her child's needs and this is worrisome. It would be better for this little child if someone else were her parent, but obviously that's beside the point. Try to prevail on her to act in a mature manner and put her child first, not her own need for a social life that is jeopardizing her child's safety and emotional health.

[calication]

thank you for your response.
in the summer she needs to travel or work so she needs time away for her child,
she is in school during the rest of the year.
Her ex has broke in to her apartment earlier to steal money and belongings, he has no custody anymore of the child, but like to see him and she is in need of babysitter.
He has no job because he is on and off on drugs and don't have to pay child support according to the court. staying in a halfway house.
She goes out alot on dates, so she is in need of babysitters on the weekends and sometimes on weekdays.
Every time i say something she says it is ok, "army brats can do it",  lots of people travel and move with their kids these day without beeing "damaged".
what can I do?
thank you.

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

Four years is much too young an age for a child to be away  for such a long time. His mother should reconsider that plan immediately. Why does she do such a thing? To the child, the separation is painful and can be felt like a rejection. Likewise, how can she permit the arrangement by which his father, with an acknowledged drug problem, is left to care for the child and be involved in their home? This mother seems to have a problem with inadequate judgement.