My 10 yr. old displays violent behaviour towards himself

[jenicmis]

My chils has been displaying anti social and self abusive behaviour since about 1st grade. He has always been well behaved at home but at school is a completely different story. I had him evaluated for a week by child physcologist and the conclusion they came to was that my child had ADHD. He was put on meds to controll it and told me it was very mild and that he would grow out of it. He only takes meds to help him sleep. The school was so concerned about his behaviour while there they set him up to see a school physcologist once a week. The behaviour has only worsened. He hits himself in the head until bruising and knots appear. He has trouble making friends and keeping them. He has one friend that he hangs out with everyday after school and gets along with so well. I just do not see the problems at home he displays at school. So my questions are : Do I punish him at home for the things he's doing at school? What can I do to stop the behavior? I am desperate.

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

There is no single reason why children hit their head or bang against something. Generally it occurs because the child is very frustrated and does not maintain emotional control. The behavior at school would improve if the school adopted a plan whereby they discipline (or reward) him at school and not remove him. In fact, the current plan may well be exacerbating, not helping, the situation.

[jenicmis]

Thank you for your response. We do have a plan with the school and we do exactly what you suggested above. It doesn't seem to help though. He has the I don't care attitude about so many things. I would really like to know why he is so bad there and not at home. It bother's me that anytime he acts out the school sends him home immediatly and doesn't deal with the behavior as it occurs. I would also really like to know why he hits and bangs his head against things.

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

There should be a plan whereby you and the school collaborate to address your son's behavior. For example, each day you can be informed of whether or not your son has adhered to the code of conduct of the school. If so, he can have access to his video games (or whatever activity he prefers). If he has not followed the school rules, he would be denied access to the game/activity for that day. Do you see what i am getting at? Hopefully the motivation to have access to his pursuits at home will enhance his self-control at work.

You might also re-visit the ADHD issue. perhaps it is more of a problem than you think. Children do notoutgrow ADHD - it is a persistent condition. Now what can occur as children get older is a greater capacity to control their behavior. The ADHD condition remains, but it may have less of an influence.