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excessive crying in a one year old

I am a teacher at a daycare and I have a one year old little boy who cries constantly. The only time he doesn't cry is when he is being held in standing position. sitting with him, comforting him will not work. He has been in daycare for a few months and this is still continuing. His mother is bipolar and doesn't have a connection with him and his dad picks him up in the evening. Is there something wrong??? I first thought it was separation anxiety but shouldn't this have improved by now because I comfort him alot.He will watch for you to come close to him and will cry if you pass him by. He will throw himself on the floor also. I had a specialist working with another child and she said he should be checked out but she only saw him for a few minutes. I once thought there was something severly wrong with him untill I watched closer and he would watch you then cry if you got futher away from him. He will also follow you around the room crying. please tell me where to look or research for answers. we use birth to three alot but I like to try a plan in action first to see if it helps....any advise would be great
51 Responses
171768 tn?1324233699
years back i was a toddler teacher, and a little girl who was 2 would cry from the moment she was dropped off until she went home. she would stop briefly to eat (she LOVED to eat), and if we were lucky we got her to sleep for 30 minutes (the rest of the kids slept for 2 hours). she did this for about 5 months and then one day just stopped. she was just very sad about being away from mom. she is now a very bright, well ajusted 6 year old. Another little girl started at 1 1/2, and did the same thing you described for about 4 months. she also stopped crying and a year later is thriving in a daycare setting. I was also a substitute for a summer in a older infant room. a little boy started around his first birthday. he also did the same exactt thing, and he too stopped after several months.
it sounds to me like he is very insecure (especially the way you describe how he watches where you are and gets upset when you move away from him). i know how frustrating it can be, because you can't give one child your constant attention when there are others to care for. your description of his family life reinforces my thought that it is just separation anxiety and insecurity. (of course, i am basing this simply on the few details you can provide, and on my own experiences. but i would give him a bit more time before you get too worried. in the mean time, try to work with the family to find ways to help him feel more comfortable- make sure you have familiar stories from home, favorite bears, favorite movies, etc...)
Avatar universal
i would refer you to http://www.besthealthoptions.com . it gives you lots of info about baby and child care. Check it out yourself coz it helped me a lot.
Avatar universal
It sounds to me like attachment/anxiety disorder... (Mother bipolar, father probably not there very often)...

The poor child... he needs alot of love and comfort.  He craves it and doesn't get it from home (assuming).

Be patient w/ him... I know it's hard to see him constantly crying for attention & affection... but just remember... his home life is hard.
Put yourself in his shoes for one day... how would you behave?

LOVE is a very powerful thing... sounds to me like he needs that!

Best of luck!

Avatar universal
i say the child is spoiled i have a one year old now and he i wasnt around him for about a month. His mother spoiled him and so did my aunt and my grandmother. When we got back together he was terribly spoiled. Doing everything that you just explained. (crying behind you, falling out, screaming, and wanting to be carried). I just popped his legs everytime he did it and told him to stop it and be quiet because he knows what that means. In about a week he was broken out of it. If he looks like he want to wine not cry i give him a look or tell him stop it and he straightens up and get back to playing or whatever he was doing.
hint: (crying and wining are too very different things. If your child wines and you allow it, he/she will drive you crazy and just continue to do it until you realize. You have to take control and let your child know that wining is not going to get them what they want).
This is horrible advice. Please think about what you are doing to your son. A toddler has no other way to communicate other than whine or cry. If your child was following you around whining after not seeing you for a month, he wanted your love and affection. Popping his legs and telling him to be quiet is the opposite of what he needs, whether or not it made him be quiet. Please think about what you are doing to this child by neglecting his emotional needs and telling him they are not worth your time.
Avatar universal
Did you seriously do this to a one year old baby?  If so then shame on you. That child is not going to love you,but fear you.
Avatar universal
Does any one remember Dr.Spock,,,His kid is dead now.
I agree with youngnump 100%,because I lived through
a similar issue in my family,I responded similarly,and
shockingly enough,,got a similar response from my daughter
she is 3 now,and loves me very much,but knows not to test
limits with me,,,she gives her mom all kinds of hell unless
I step in,,Spare the rod and spoil the child.
   Oh,by the way,I have worked in mental health for 16 years
and with children and adolescents for 10 years.
535822 tn?1443980380
Nothing wrong with' spoiling' children they thrive on loving care , experts agree that hitting a child does nothing, and the child goes on and copies it at school /with others if you teach them how to behave thats what they will do..
973741 tn?1342346373
I agree wholeheartedly with margypops.  I too worked in the mental health field for many years----- and yet believe very differently than you.  Your child does obey you because he or she is afraid to do otherwise----- far different than respecting you.   My children behave for me because I've taught them not popped them.  People are allowed to have different opinions on this subject----  but I dealt with many adults with parents like you in my clinical practice.  Good luck.
Avatar universal
To spare the rod is to spoil the child.   I agree but let me break it down for you.   If you do this out of anger then the child will fear you, if you use this mearly as a phycological shock to grab thier attention then there is no harm as long as it is absolutely nesseccary. When reason and logical explanation with example fails then responsible punishment will not fail. sorry if my english is bad.
Avatar universal
It's interesting that the only two people that got results were the ones who actually disciplined their children and everyone who disagreed presented no solutions with results, except "it will pass," basically. The one year old I babysit has this same problem and they don't pay me enough to wait 5 months or whatever it may be for him to get over it. I'd rather tell his parents my discovery and encourage them to resolve this problem (you pop him so I don't have to!). If it was my child I wouldn't be here because my child gets spankins. The last 40 years has been the age of "spoil your child all his life and he'll have good self-esteem" nonsense... more like "set your kid up for failure and disappointment when they don't get their way." Spank your kids and you'll save them from death; that's reality. Pain = Important boundary that child needs to survive in life.
973741 tn?1342346373
My kids are really well behaved and have never been spanked.  To each their own but it is not necessary to spank in order to teach your children.  Good luck
Avatar universal
Dr spock's kids micheal  and john are both alive. the rumor that his son commited suicide stems from the fact that his GRANDSON peter killed himself at the age of 22, but he suffered from schitzophrenia not bad parenting
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