four year old grandson problem

[mamumilly]

I have a four year old grandson who I have been very close with since his birth.  i watch him and his one year old brother three times a week.  For the last two months or so, he has been saying that he doesn't like me and does not want me to be there with him.  I know he is only four but it is very upsetting for me and it really hurts my feelings.  We have tried talking with him and I know he is only four.  He misses mommy and I know that is one problem and he probably also is jealous of his brother.  I also know that he probably doesn't mean the things he says but that doesn't make it any easier.  please let me know if anyone else has had this problem.  It is making me lose sleep at night and I know it is stupid to feel like this but it really is starting to hurt my feelings.  i don't mean to sound like the child here but enough is enough.  Help


This discussion is related to 4 Year Old Anger Problems.

[Trialanderror]

Don`t take it too personal, even if you are hurt. Little boys go through phases and I am sure the next phase when he appreciates your dedication and affection to the fullest will be back soon.
My six-year-old used to think his grandma`s jokes and activities were just the best in the world but sometime after age 4 he changed his mind in some areas. He did not want to see grandma for a while because:
1. He felt she treated him like a baby - she still tries to spoonfeed him sometimes now.
2. He felt she invaded his physical space with unwanted hugs and following him to the bathroom - though with best intentions to help.
3. He felt he was unnecessarily restricted in his boyish adventures like jumping in puddles or building mud-castles.
4. He felt he might be "held hostage" after he once got "stuck" at grandma`s house during a snow storm and worried he would not see me again.
Luckily grandma was patient enough to wait for me to find out what suddenly bothered him and backed off a little in those areas. I made an effort to remind my son of all the wonderful times he already spent with his grandma. And my son learned to speak up immediately when he was not comfortable with a situation instead of eliminating loving grandma from his life altogether. The grandma-grandson relationship is always a work in progress. Best to go with the flow.

I also noticed that boys start to think more about male role models after age 4 or 5. As much as my son appreciates his dear grandma these days again, a grandma can be a confusing authority figure during those times. I would see clashes as part of a healthy development to becoming a male grown-up and to independence. Don`t take it to heart!

[grammabamma]

I have a 3 year old grandson with the complete opposite problem. He asks me to make his Mommy go away so he can stay with me. When I take him home on days that Daddy is not there he goes into a panic, cries uncontrollably and begs me not to leave him. He also has a 1 year old brother, who is undeniably Mommys favorite. Unfortunatly, 1 year olds take alot of our time and energy, maybe he feels that his time with you is no longer special since the baby came along. Have you thought about leaving the baby with a sitter and doing something special with him?