four yr old son will not sleep in his bed

[jd1419]

My oldest son just turned four--he will not sleep in his toddler bed at all.  His two year old brother has no problem falling asleep in his bed.  He says he is scared that wolves are gong to get him or some other monster.  I do leave the lights on, we check under the bed.  After fours hours of trying to get him to sleep I just give up and let him crawl into bed with us so we can all sleep.  This entails wakes his brother up and he also climbs into bed.  So either mom or dad end up on the couch.  I need to some help to get a good night sleep.

[blondie72]

The problem is you are "giving in" and letting him sleep with you.  If you really don't mind him in your bed (like me my son is 2 and is in our bed but I don't mind) then let him come in but if you are frustrated and you want him out then you have to stop giving him the message that it is "OK" to come to you - I suggest you get a bedtime routine - Make a bedtime chart if you need to - Take Bath, have snack, brush teeth, snuggle and read a book, then go thru the bedroom and look in the closet and under the bed and reassure him there is NOTHING there.  Tuck him into bed and you may want to rub his back for a while - If you have a night light that is a good thing, turn it on and leave the room - If he comes out - Walk him back in - You have to make it CLEAR to him that he is NOT coming to your room - It will take a little while but BE CONSISTENT and he will see that you mean business.   Good Luck

[MSWEETIE]

PUT HIM IN HIS BED A LEAVE AND NEVER LOOK BACK. HE WILL SOON BREAK TAKE MY WORD!!!!!

[tumbleweed219]

i ha dthe same problem still do but what i have learned is some tough love i have three children all three of my was in the bed with me from the time they were born but the two oldest by the time they was a year old they were sleeping in their crib the baby is 5 years old i have just gotten her to sleep in her bed anyway what her dr told me was start putting her  to bed a hour earlier and every time she gets up put he rback in this took about 2 weeks but it worked very well now she goes to bed on time with very little problem

[anxiousmomtobe?]

I think the problem will take care of itself.  For my daughter She had a pad that she would sleep on beside my bed.  Now I am old and tired and the wee lad sneaks into our bed in the middle of the night.  He is very careful not to wake us up.  He is about to go from a toddler bed to a twin so I will hopefully be able to break the habit then

Who can blame them?  I like snuggling up to someone (dh) when I sleep too.  They do outgrow it, out 15.5 year old never wants to crawl in.

[fiffa]

Mines already in kindergarten!! I just hope something changes before 1st grade at this point.

[jd1419]

Your guess is as good as mine.  I am to a point that I think tonight I will let the boys fall asleep in my bed and then have my hb move them to their room.  I am hoping this works.  I talked to my mil today and she said that my dh was they same way unitl he started kg.  I am hoping it will not take this long though.  I am wishing for a peaceful night sleep.

[fiffa]

By the way he also says he is scared of wolves and monsters. We never let him watch anything that might be scarey!! That includes Scoby Doo.

[fiffa]

Hi all.. I posted on another page but did not get a reply. Thought I would try again. What can I do to get my 6 year old to sleep by himself? We have tried eveything from talking it through, to sleeping on thr floor next to him, to locking him out of our bedroom (which did not go over well at all)! His 3 year old sister has never had a problem and sleeps in her bed every night. He said he is scared ( nightmars). What to do? His doc said to lock him in his room. I just can't. It seems to harsh. Help anyone!!

[RockRose]

We used to have a pallet on the floor for my 4 year old - about every third night,  I'd wake up and he'd be there on his pallet.  After awhile he went back to sleeping in his own bed -

That was the least disruptive way to deal with the situation we could think of - after a couple weeks of getting up and trying to soothe him,  or finally bringing him to our bed,  the pallet worked.

Best wishes!  Some day this will all be a memory.