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help with our 9 year old

we are have a problem with a 9 year old girl she has been removed
from her mum due to ill treatment of her and her to younger siblins
who are 4 and 6. we are have problems with her constent need to be in
charge and play the parenting role often useing the same behaviour
her mum used, negative comment and often violent behaviour. we have
discovered this is also happening at school where she will not play
with kids her own age but much younger children where she will often
act like she is there mother and can upset the younger children.
examples of this behaviour are if i was to say to the 4 year old " u
do not hit your bother " she would talk over me and repeat/try to
explain in more detail what i have tried to say. punishment does not
seem to prevent this behaviour and i'm not sure how stricked to be as
this child has been ill treated in past and is very unsecure as it
is. she also shows problems with playing normal i dont know if there
interlinked but she does not seem to be able to play like a normal 9
year old often finding it hard to play with toys and she will become
very upset if asked to go play in her room. in all games she must be
the parent figure and is unable to play a child role in games she has
shown no sign of role playing of jobs such as police women or dr and
when she is in room with adults must be sitting next to them often
rubbing her hand up and down there arm or be over cuddly. this shows
she has been usecurely attached as a baby. any advice?
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