homework war....

[Jenn]

my ds is ADHD and fights with me everyday that he has homework. I think the teacher gives out to much homework for the first grade. . She will give five spelling words that have to be wrote one time each,ten reading words that need to be wrote one time each, and a math paper with 25 math problams on it. All this is assigned for one night of homework. And its due back the next day. Do you have any suggestions on how to avoid the homework war that we go though every night. Somedays we are at the table for three hours. I tied giving him a brake every ten mins. but then he doesn't want to start back up after the break, i waited till bedtime to do the homework and that justs makes him think if he takes his time he can stay up later, i don't want to be fighting with him all the time to do the homework. My nerves can't take this. He is only in first grade. Thanks for your help.

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

Dear Jenn,

I noticed that you have written a number of times with various questions concerning child rearing and parenting. It sounds like you need some ongoing support. Consider requesting an appointment with a child mental health clinician to address some of your concerns. You will be able to obtain ongoing help on a regular basis.

It's important for young children to begin their homework early, so they are not depleted as they will be later in the day. After a time-limited period (e.g., 30-60 minutes) of rest and play after school, your son should begin his homework. He should work for approximately 30 minutes at a stretch, take a brief break (with no television - it's too hard to tear him away), and then resume for another 30 min. block, etc. Be sure that other activity, such as television, video games, or any other form of play, occurs only after homework is completed. Doing homework just prior to bedtime is not a good idea - there's no motivation for the youngster to conclude the work.

[Christine]

Just for your information and as a guideline, I have read that a "normal" or "average" amout of homework to be given is 10 minutes  per night per grade.  So your child's teacher should roughly be giving about 10 minutes of homework each night for a 1st grader.  In my opinion, in the first grade, the real purpose of homework is not so much a learning process, but more an attempt to get them used to it for later grades and to begin to learn some time management skills.  My child's teachers have stated at parent's night that they give a set amount of homework based upon the "average" student in their class.  If we parents find that we are spending hours upon hours doing homework each evening then something is wrong and the teachers have asked to be alerted to this.  My child is now in 3rd grade.  I consider her to be a slightly above average child, not a genius, but no problems.  The amount of homework you have described in your post DOES seem like a lot for 1st grade but it probably would have taken my daughter about 30 minutes to complete.  If it is taking hours like you have described then you REALLY need to discuss this with the teacher and other parents to see if OTHER children in the class are having these struggles.  If so, just be content to know that "this too shall pass" and you will always have these experiences with different teaching personalities.  If none of the other children seem to be having problems, then you need to re-evaluate your child's placement in that class.  Maybe that type of learning environment and structure is not suitable to your child's abilities or temperament.  Good Luck.
Christine

[TO THE DOCTOR...]

FOR YOUR INFORMATION, I'M ALREADY INVOLVED WITH A MENTAL HEALTH WORKER. I ALREADY ASKED HER FOR HER INPUT AND I WAS JUST LOOKING FOR SOME MORE ADVISE. I THINK YOUR RESPONSE WAS RUDE AND NOT VERY PROFESSIONAL. I'M NOT THE ONLY ONE PERSON ON THIS BOARD WHO HAS POSTED A NUMBER OF TIMES. IF PEOPLE ARE ONLY ALLOWED TO POST ON THIS BOARD ONE TIME I THINK MAYBE YOU SHOULD MAKE A STATEMENT PRETAINNING TO THAT SO THAT EVERYONE KNOWS. I WILL NOT BE POSTING ON THIS BOARD ANY MORE.

[Jenn]

FOR YOUR INFORMATION, I'M ALREADY INVOLVED WITH A
   MENTAL HEALTH WORKER. I ALREADY ASKED HER FOR HER
   INPUT AND I WAS JUST LOOKING FOR SOME MORE ADVISE. I
   THINK YOUR RESPONSE WAS RUDE AND NOT VERY
   PROFESSIONAL. I'M NOT THE ONLY ONE PERSON ON THIS
   BOARD WHO HAS POSTED A NUMBER OF TIMES. IF PEOPLE
   ARE ONLY ALLOWED TO POST ON THIS BOARD ONE TIME I
   THINK MAYBE YOU SHOULD MAKE A STATEMENT
   PRETAINNING TO THAT SO THAT EVERYONE KNOWS. I WILL
   NOT BE POSTING ON THIS BOARD ANY MORE.

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

Dear Jenn,

Thanks for your frank response to my reply.

By no means do I want to discourage your asking questions - it's a sign of your investment as a parent. My message was not intended to discourage you from asking questions. I meant only to make a suggestion which might be helpful. Obviously you had already taken that step. My apologies for offending you.

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

Dear Christine,

Thanks for sending along your guidance. I thought it was a very reasoned and useful perspective on a subject of importance to many parents.