how to deal with anxiety about kindergarden

[chris1019]

I wanted to post this question and receive advice from a medical expert but I don't think I did it right, I am new to this site!

Anyway here it goes again....my daughter is 5 and was always kept in my home by my mother.  She interacted mostly with adults no kids in our family.  We had her attend playgroup and dance class after which she had bad luck and an immune not strong due to lack of exposure to kids...which we were trying to help.  Long story short she was not able to attend as much as we would have liked since she got the flu, scarlet fever, the 5th disease - you name it she came down with it!  
She has now begun kindergarden and in our community it is full days and it is a French school.  My husband and I speak french it is my first language however my mom is English so my we have always spoken to my daughter in English to avoid development issues in solidly grasping a 1st language so we thought.   1 year before school I began a preschool at home program and spoke to her in french as a part of lessons we would do.  We talked and discussed ALL aspects of school and I tried to flush out fears or insecurities she may have about this big step by talking about it, visiting her school and talking about my experiences at school good and bad.
Thought this would have helped.  Week 1 was ok and so was week 2 then week 3 she reported and her teacher that she missed me at school and was a bit sad and cried at school.  I thought ok let's talk about it why did you feel sad what were you thinking and what can I do to help.  We gave her pictures of our family and she took a bracelet of mine with her.  I told her that I was always in her heart while at school think of me and know that I am proud and when you are off the bus I will be there..hence I have changed my work hours to go in early and my husband does the morning on the bus routine.  This issue increased.  She got a sinus infection and stomach flu and was home 5 days.  The return went really badly.  She would cry at school a lot and during the night she would wake and begun nervously needing to go potty.  I have placed almost all of my focus on helping her work through this.  Talked to teacher, friends, family and looked up anxiety and children to obtain tools to help her work through her fears.  My daughter has always been timide in nature and is a perfectionnnist we have had to help her through some mild tantrums and behaviour issues but she is mature little girl and very supported and loved by a family that surrounds her.  Things have improved over this week she slept through the night last night but woke at 5am my spouse said she was upset not wanting to go to school and cried right up to the moment she got on the bus.  He calmed her by offering to pick her up at the end of the day.  I think she is doing really well in dealing with all the new changes in her life and I've told her that many times.  She is reluctant to participate at times in class but she is not comfortable yet talking French.  I speak to her in French except when she is upset and we need to work through her concerns.  I also help by doing activities school passes along and watching tv in French too.  She was in our home and not around children now has to eat lunch away use a toilet that is not her own.  I know my daughter and this has been a lot and I am proud on how far she has come.  

I want to help her and support her to grow and adapt further, do I keep doing the same things and she will get there? Should I consult her family doctor?  I am worried that being upset and not sleeping enough will have a harmful affect on her health.  It is really draining on my husband and I since I worry about her.

Can you help?
A really concerned mommy who loves her girl.

[margypops]

The medical expert is Dr Kennedy he is on the right in the expert/doctor forms good luck

[kimhout]

I have a five year old son. He has always been taken care of in our home by my mother also. He did not go to preschool so going to kindergarten is his first time away from home and family for any amount of time. The first three weeks went great. He was excited and would come home and tell us all about his day and everything. Then he got sick with bronchitis/pneumonia and was home for three days and the weekend. Due to his high fever I stayed home from work with him for two days. The following week when it was time to go back to school, he DID NOT want to go. He laid on the ground kicking and screaming and did not want to go to school. For two days, we were called by the school nurse that he was soo upset he was inconsolable and even had to pick him up the second day. The third day when he went I told my mom to give him a picture of the family that he could take with him. He did really well with the picture and carried it with him all day! He has gotten better as long as he has his picture of the family but still once he gets into the classroom first thing in the morning he starts crying because he says he is scared of going to school. We already take him to school in the morning and he has to be picked up after school because there are not buses for the kindergartners. We have tried talking to him at home to reassure him that he will be fine at school and try to find out what is causing this but he just continues to tell us that he is scared of going to school. Any suggestions on how to deal with this anxiety, would be greatly appreciated.

Concerned Mom from Alaska