my 6 y.o. is pooping her pants - HELP

[smartypants]

I divorced my ex-husband early this year, and about when that happened my 6 year old daughter began to have "accidents". She would make it to just in front of the toilet and pee, stating she didn't get there in time. This evolved to pooping, and now she does it often, but not everywhere. She seems to choose not to do this at school or rarely at daycare, but I dont' remember the last time she defecated in the toilet. Today and yesterday she did it in her underwear twice at a festival away from home.

I have tried positive reinforcement, showering her with love, and now discipline and taking away priveledges. None of the aforementioned have made any difference. She exhibits the same behavior in the presence of her father. She lies about why she does it (her story changes each time, so no one really knows whether she knows she's doing it or why), but it appears from her choice of venue that it is intentional. Truly it seems to occur when she doesn't get her way.

I haven't the slightest clue what to do next to stop this behavior. H E L P!!


This discussion is related to 7 year old with bathroom problem.

[smartypants]

Thank you - I spoke with the school counselor today and she suggested medical examination (which I have read through this forum to be a potential cause for the issue) as well as counseling. My instincts are telling me that is what it is, that she is angry or has emotions she doesn't know what to do with and this is the resulting output.

I do make her clean it up. After a few months of it I got fed up and I guess unfortunately she is getting pretty good at the clean up. Well, thanks for your advice.

[LRM1021]

I am sure this has to do with the divorce-- it was something that she can't control, so now she is controlling her bathroom habits by doing the exact opposite of what her parents want-- its a way of communicating her anger.

My suggestion is to seek some counseling for your daughter so that she can get a chance to express her anger, and really grieve over her parents divorce. This counseling could also give you advice about talking to your daughter about her feelings about the divorce, and trying to reassure her that her new life is ok, even if her parents are not living together.

As for the immediate problems, I think you should make her clean up every time she has an accident- make her change her clothes, bathe, clean the floor, whatever. That might kick start her into breaking this habit. However, it won't address the underlying issue about her repressed anger -- this is why I also suggest counseling.

Good luck.