Child Behavior Community
14.3k Members
Avatar universal

my 8 yr old boy cant control himself

my 8 year old son has been constantly sent home from school for the last 2 months only 1 of which was an exclusion...he is always grabbing people and punching and kicking...runs of from teachers and adults so he doesn't have to listen...he feels he has to be the powerful person in any given situation...he had a therapist last year which the therapist sent a report to his current school in February but the family support worker failed to referre him for further assessments until his first day he was sent home end of april...the therapist believes he has separation disorder which needs looking into further...I will be grateful on any advice on to help my son to control himself as I have tried breathing techniques, calm down areas, rewards for good behaviour and treats or consoles being taken away for periods of time for bad behaviour... I have another 2 children younger which did not have the influence of their biological father and they thrive in school listen well to adults are academically ahead...and are generally happy children...but my 8 year old boy has seen a lot that I dint know about until was to late as he didn't talk and dint seem effected at the time since father has been gone his slowly explaining things that their father did when I was out...so is now a very angry child..
6 Responses
189897 tn?1441126518
    Any chance he has something like ADHD or ADD?
Here are two links that should help you decide if he might.
   I am surprised the teachers have not asked for testing of him.
      You might also want to look into buying "Cool down and work through anger" or "When I feel angry". This is part of a series of books aimed at 4 to 7 year olds and meant to be read to them at night (several times) and then practiced.  Kids do need to be taught how to deal with anger.  You do not try and use these techniques while he is screaming.  But once he stops or later on in the day - you can refer back to them or pull the books back out.
You can find them here -  http://www.amazon.com/Cool-Through-Anger-Learning-Along/dp/1575423464/ref=pd_sim_b_5"
1029273 tn?1472231494
This is just a suggestion: you might consider talking with his pediatrician about his behavior, and ask if he can be screened / tested for ADHD or any other behavioral disorders; also ask about medications which could help in combination w/ therapy, unless you've already done so.
Take Care
1029273 tn?1472231494
oopps, I'm sorry, I think our posts over lapped!
~ :) Suzanne
Avatar universal
he was tested for add/adhd last January I had report back saying he had low concentration that was all...through me going to doctor myself he has now been referred to thurlow house so I am hoping soon he will have a therapist again...I will look into theses books to sounds a fab idea thank you :)
189897 tn?1441126518
    "He had low concentration"?   What kind of doctor did the testing? How was he tested?  The standard is a questionnaire sent home to the parents and also to his teachers at his school.  That is the only recognized test.
     Do check out the links I sent you on the standard symptoms of ADHD to see how he fits compared to other kids with ADHD.   If his test was only done in a pediatricians office - it is basically worthless.
13167 tn?1327194124
Can you be more specific about the "things their father did" while you were away?  

Could he possibly have PTSD?  The fact that he always has to be the "powerful person",  IMHO,  sounds like you may want to consider that he's been horribly traumatized.
Have an Answer?
Top Children's Health Answerers
189897 tn?1441126518
San Pedro, CA
Learn About Top Answerers
Didn't find the answer you were looking for?
Ask a question
Popular Resources
Fearing autism, many parents aren't vaccinating their kids. Can doctors reverse this dangerous trend?
Is a gluten-free diet right for you?
We answer your top questions about the flu vaccine.
Learn which over-the-counter medicines are safe for you and your baby
Yummy eats that will keep your child healthy and happy
Healing home remedies for common ailments