Any chance he has something like ADHD or ADD?
Here are two links that should help you decide if he might.
I am surprised the teachers have not asked for testing of him.
You might also want to look into buying "Cool down and work through anger" or "When I feel angry". This is part of a series of books aimed at 4 to 7 year olds and meant to be read to them at night (several times) and then practiced. Kids do need to be taught how to deal with anger. You do not try and use these techniques while he is screaming. But once he stops or later on in the day - you can refer back to them or pull the books back out.
You can find them here - http://www.amazon.com/Cool-Through-Anger-Learning-Along/dp/1575423464/ref=pd_sim_b_5"
This is just a suggestion: you might consider talking with his pediatrician about his behavior, and ask if he can be screened / tested for ADHD or any other behavioral disorders; also ask about medications which could help in combination w/ therapy, unless you've already done so.
oopps, I'm sorry, I think our posts over lapped!
~ :) Suzanne
he was tested for add/adhd last January I had report back saying he had low concentration that was all...through me going to doctor myself he has now been referred to thurlow house so I am hoping soon he will have a therapist again...I will look into theses books to sounds a fab idea thank you :)
"He had low concentration"? What kind of doctor did the testing? How was he tested? The standard is a questionnaire sent home to the parents and also to his teachers at his school. That is the only recognized test.
Do check out the links I sent you on the standard symptoms of ADHD to see how he fits compared to other kids with ADHD. If his test was only done in a pediatricians office - it is basically worthless.
Can you be more specific about the "things their father did" while you were away?
Could he possibly have PTSD? The fact that he always has to be the "powerful person", IMHO, sounds like you may want to consider that he's been horribly traumatized.