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Avatar universal

my son has problems keeping his hands to himself at shcool

my 7 year old son is having problems in school. He is having issues paying attention and he is being too rough with other kids in class.  Many times it is when the other kids do something that makes him mad he reacts physically. He is not exposed to violence at home. I have talked to him about keeping his hands to himself. He says that he can't control himself.  He has a huge heart and is very kind in many other ways. Very good with animals. His teacher says he daydreams in school all the time.  At home one on one he does great. I don't know how to help him learn to stay focused or how to control his impulses. Does anyone have any suggestions?
5 Responses
3149845 tn?1506631371
Hi, i had similar issues and had a negative affect in my growing years. Its important to take him to a child doctor for evaluation. Maybe just needs something simple to adjusts his attention span.
973741 tn?1342346373
Hi there.  sorry to hear this is hard for your son.  My own son had issues as well.  He actually has sensory integration disorder and impulse control is difficult for kids like him.  Not sure if your son has any other symptoms but lack of personal boundaries, impulse control and trouble focusing at times (not all the time) is often associated with sensory.  There are also other classic symptoms like issues with hair being washed or brushed, not being comfortable in socks, being a super picky eater, etc.  Having issues with fine or gross motor skills is also common.  Issues with peers and social skills too.  Inflexibility and trying to control the situation are also common.

Anyway, we sought the help of an occupational therapist.  This REALLY helped.  My son learned boundaries he could not cross.  It was done through games, role playing, and clear expectations.  Example---  we played the robot game. Arms out, walk like robot.  You could not get any closer to someone than the robot arms (arms straight out or straight out to the side) or your machine went haywire.  After playng this a bit (which is fun), he was asked to always put this into practice ---  and I would give him that verbal cue. "Robot arms X(his name)" and he'd be mindful of not getting too close.  I told his teacher the cues and they used them at school.  Really helpful to share with them what you are working on at home.  If he has trouble touching others---  shorts or pants with pickets and a little something for him to fiddle with with his hands in the pocket.  The repercussion of not keeping hands to self is that his 'friends' will be mad and tell on him and not want to play with him.  This was something my own son was very interested in.  He didn't really conceptualize that he was driving his friends away with his behavior (or peers I should say)---  but he knew he wanted to have them.  So, to say that HIS actions caused friends to not want to play hit home with him.  Since he was motivated to have friends, he would try not to touch.  Talk a lot about his friends and what THEY want and how he can be a good friend to them by keeping his hands to himself.

He's 7.  Is that first or second grade for him?  
Hello. Not sure if youll get this .. your last comment was a few years ago, youre comment gave me chills thats is my son. Its so overwhelming . You explained it to the "T" about my ten year old son.
I've been trawling the internet for years trying to find out what could be the issue with my son and this is the first comment that has explained his condition perfectly. This is so helpful, thank you ever so much for sharing.
5914096 tn?1399922587
Focusing and impulse control issues are symptoms of ADHD.  You may need to have your son evaluated by his pediatrician to determine if this or any other disorder is at stake.

Disciplining your son for these behaviors to teach him self control is always a good idea.  However, if these behaviors are occurring as a direct result of a disorder, then the discipline could backfire. which is yet another reason to have him evaluated ASAP.
189897 tn?1441130118
   Definitely agree with the others.  This is certainly signs of either ADHD or Sensory issues.   So getting some professional advice would be a good idea.
   For a teacher to notice "daydreaming" this early in the year does say something.  I suspect she was being nice with that comment.  Big question is did he have these problems last year.
   The problem is that if he does have ADHD (at this age) keeping him focused is very difficult.  Specialmom gives very good ideas on the "hands" part.  He can be retrained to less physical means.  But it takes lots of practice, as she says.   You could also buy, "Hands are not for Hitting" and read and practice with him a lot.  It can be found here. http://www.amazon.com/Hands-Hitting-Ages-Best-Behavior/dp/1575420775
    Also, you really want to stay in touch with his teacher.  And as Mark said, if it turns out that he does have something like ADHD - you don't want to discipline him for what he is doing at school.  Here is more info on ADHD - http://www.help4adhd.org/en/about/what/WWK1
  Hope this helps.
Avatar universal
I just wondered if you have an update on how your son is doing now? my 6 year old sounds very similar. I would really appericate any news you have?? Thanks. I hope things are easier for your family now
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