I don't think your being possessive at all, and believe his son needs to sleep in his own bed. He at the age where he is old enough to able to sleep on his own. There are many opportunities throughout the day for your husband to kiss, cuddle and show affection to his son. At nightime, it is your time to be a couple and to have your space together. Perhaps you need to explain this to him, good luck :)
I'm going through the same thing. I haven't told his Dad though because I feel like it's hard for them to only see eachother half of the week as the boy's at his mom's the other half of the week. I feel like he has separation issues.. I do feel jealous because I agree with the above statement by aid821 that said bedtime should be our time to have our space together.... I guess I don't have any answers but I"m writing this so you know you're not alone... I found your post because I was feeling irritated and just wanted to know I wasn't alone. Sigh.
Thaanks for reading.
I live far from my own parents and so my partner is my only family... I look forward to bedtime cuddling with him. So when I sleep alone it magnifies how alone I feel sometimes.
Hi there..u are not ALONE..that is for sure....I have the same problem as well..but no anymore......I have been dating my bf for a yr now .. and he was living with me..and my two kids...when he got his son 7 yrs old..everyother weekend he was doin the same thing...either bunking with him out in the living room on couch or then later on on an air mattress....... I had had enough as the our boys 2 yrs apart loved hanging together and dad was even stopping them from having a sleepover per say. I had to let my bf know that this couldnt keep happening and that after now it has been a yr..and your son has had enough time now to b on his own in the home....(even at the end of our bed). He understood..but it took a while for it to come to play. I love his boy..but on the same not..if hes old enough to play "M" video games..and play with the big boys..he should b able to sleep without dad rapped around him. I thought maybe i was just being mean..but i noticed honestly im not.....this just isnt right after a yr....... we bought a house with 4 bedrooms to help with the problem... funny enough my bf didnt care if we bought with 3 or 4...but i explained we have to ... as we need to make him feel that he has a place in this family as well as where he lives full time with his mother....... After the big move..he hasnt (or neither) have done it. But honestly it wasnt easy to adress it..but i couldnt do it anymore either.
I dont know how to cope with our step son wanting my partner to sleep in his bed. His dad often says yes when this happens leaving me alone. His actions of leaving me alone make me feel alone. I have always thought of the bed as our private time, and a time for us to be together. I have learned to step back during the day ensuring that they always get their time together, but I just wish he understood how leaving our bed makes me feel abandoned. He says its me being jealous or selfish but really if it was our biological kid I would never think this was okay. I think the time two partners get at the end of the day to hold each other, can make or break a relationship. I feel it is honestly this most important time for two people to connect. I am unsure of what to do or how else to communicate my issues with co sleeping (the boy is 11) so that his dad doesnt think I am trying to come between them. I try to do all I can so his days are fulfilled and so we can connect but when they boy asks to co sleep I feel this undoes any validity his dad and our relationship has. I just need help. I hate to be the frustrated one or the pouty one but I feel I cannot get my point across! Any ideas?!
No! First of all have a talk with your husbands and then his eight-year-old son. His eight-year-old son sleeping with you is not OK,the three of you need to sit down and set boundaries tell him it is not ok for us all to sleep with each other you have your own room we have ours do not let him ruin your relationship or invade your privacy. Vocalize your thoughts!!!
I wasn't going to respond but after reading all the responses I decided to. I don't have a response from a step parents perspective because I'm not one but my husband is. I have a 9 year old son and a 6 year old daughter. The 6 year old is mine and my husband's and my 9 year old is mine from a previous relationship. It may be different for us because my husband and I have been together since my son was 6 months old and we were already cosleeping. Both of my kids still sleep with us most nights until just recently. If I had to share time with another parent especially only getting them on the weekends or every other weekend and my husband, whom I love very much, was mad about cosleeping.. I'd tell him to get over it! They are only little once and the only children I'll ever be able to have. My marriage is very important to me so it has nothing to do with that. If the kids only see their dad's a few days a week or every other week, is it really worth getting upset about? Would you like to see your own children only on specific days and then be told it'd only OK to be with them during the day? We're your parents divorced and you had to split time between them? I'd be mad at you all if I was the child as well. The children have already had their life changed enough and it doesn't matter how long it's been. This whole topic just got to me way more than I could have imagined. Wether you have kids or had divorced/separated parents yourself, please try to see it from other perspectives.
Sorry about all the typos, I don't see a way to edit on here. I also wanted to add though that it's important too to know if the kids sleep with their mother while they are with her? If so they very likely have all of their life and may be afraid to sleep alone. I know my children had only coslept until recently and if my son's father's girlfriend had refused to let him sleep with his father if he wanted to at his house, that would have been a problem. I'm not a difficult person honestly, I don't think, but that would have caused a huge issue between me and his father. Now if they aren't afraid and are ok to sleep alone then that's different and just goes back to my previous response.
Your not alone! Ive been in a relationship with my bf for almost two years now, and have been living with him and his 3 year old daughter for a year. At first I was fine but then explained to my bf that I want alone time with him at night and it's not OK to never have alone time. So he agreed and what we did was buy a mini bed for her and put it next to our bed and she could be in our bed till she fell asleep and then we place her in her bed. And even sometimes she goes to her bed by herself now and loves her princess bed.
My step son is 6 and still wants to sleep in our bed. Horrible part is we have a full sized bed and I wake up with the worst backache. Idk what to do to make his dad understand that this isnt ok. His son is psycho jealous. We have a biological son of our own and its annoying how jeAlous he is of him. He's always taking babies toys or food away. Idk what to do and his dad doesn't get it. The bed isn't big enough for all of us!!!