normal child behaviour or unnatural perversion?

[Mike165]

hi, i am a male of 29 now and i feel very anxious over what happend 23 years ago when i was 6 year old. i had a playmate of approximately my age or maybe he was 2 years older, we used to play together a lot and i trusted this kid so i dont think there was any abuse and i was not really foreced into anything, however we did experiment a couple of times playing sexual games, but it was just natural curiousity and exploration i mean we were just discovering something. so we just touched each other and lay on top of each other stuff like that nothing serious really. nothing oral or anal or whatsoever. and normally this kind of play is not supposed to have any longlasting traumatic effects on an individual, but for some strange reason i have developped and enormous amount of guilt and anxiety related to this issue, obsessive and intrusive thoughts and fears that i might be gay or that i have done something that will affect my sexual preferences and change them in some way. i have always loved women and always been fascinated by and drawn to the opposite sex, but recently my mind just cannot let go of ruminating about the possibility that i might have done something really really Wrong and Terrible and unnatural and unhealthy and immoral and very bad by playing with this kid. and i am so hopeless now i dont know what to do. i whish i could go back in time and undo this thing i have done, but i am afraid its impossible.
please, what kind of advice could you have for me? how bad is it? should i worry about it? what if i have destroyed my sexuality and now i am bound to become gay like my anxious mind tells me? is there any hope in this situation?

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

I'm glad to hear you are already in therapy. The guidance you are receiving is excellent and is a responsible approach to the problem. It might also be worthwhile to consider some medication to help lessen the intensity of the obsessive thoughts.

[Mike165]

my therapist suggests that i should try the Exposure and Response prevention method to confront my fears and anxiety. so instead of escaping gays or avoiding any anxious situation i should on the contrary seek out those fear provoking situations and experience them and face them so that i can confront my fear.
do you think its a good idea? or should i seek another therapy?

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

Yes, there is every reason to expect that you'll be fine. For that to happen it is important that you seek therapy to help you with your obsessive thoughts and to help you think about your situation in a different fashion. You can't expect this to improve if you try to handle it yourself - the situation invites preofessional intervention. If you arrange such help you will be fine.