not follow the instructions

[aadhi]

My daughter is 9 years old, for the past 1 and half years ,she thinks , i not important for her(mother), my parents are with me , my father is bit strict to her, but now she is primary 2 , and her marks have all come down, the main problem with her , she don't want to follow what ever we say, most of the time keeps arguing for everything, for eg yesterday i was ,dear onlyare studies are going to be with of eve , with our people like laymen so practice and practice it will make you the best and aim always for high, she kept quiet when i said this for two days, but yester day she replied that ," y you want your daughter to learn all primary 6 portions nowly only,or you want i should complet my studies and start to work, ask to finish math , she wil do english, give money for buying something from school shop, she buy something for her to eat , that like some biscuits or chocolates saying she was feeling very hungry , and come home saying money was not enough becos i eat first since i thought it will only 50 cents for the things so balnce 50cents i eat , but when after she goes to shop she will know its was 60 cents instead of 50, so come home with out buying this happened twice thrice, where this dress, no i want to wear that, drink water , no i am not thirsty , but stepp out from home with out water , want water first then rest, really i am fed up with her , so many beating and scolding is not hepling us, we talk so many times that we should beat or scold , so we take time to explain, but all explantions last for a day or two sometime only hours , i have 2 year old kid , scared whether she will be spoiled becos of her, thought many times that we send her to some nice boeading school.

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

Well, you hve come to a correct conclusion: hitting her and scolding her will not be effective. Here is a bit of straightforward advice and, if you follow it, you will see improvement. Adhere to the protocol in Lynn Clark's book SOS Help for Parents. It describes precisely what to do when your daughter does not do as she is told.

[Renee Radenberg]

You need to ask your question in the Child Behavior Expert Forum. Sorry I am not able to help you.