out of control 4 year old

[brittrae226]

What can I possibly do to make my four year old son mind me and other adults? The only time he listens is at school or during a t ball game. Even at school though he has got into trouble for hitting other kids, spitting on them and throwing the wood pieces on the playground. At home he minds NOONE!!!!!!! He hits his three year old brother for no reason( I mean kicks and punches him in the back and face) whopping and time outs are not working he will just get up and run or laugh at us. He has the worse mouth I have heard a four year old, I do understand they repeat what they hear, but some of this stuff I have no clue where he gets it from, like stupid, he uses it with everything "this is stupid that's stupid he, she, them are stupid. He tells us to shut up hits us and has the worse tantrum ever!!!!!!! I can not take him in a store without him completely acting like a wild ape. I need help because I am pregnant with my third son who will be here in july and I need this gone asap. (PLUS he wont sleep in his own bed and hits me in the stomach when he gets mad)

[samwow0wow]

Sorry about the situation you are having with your son. From my own experience, I was a nanny to a child with very similar issues. His parent's chose not to discipline him or did so in a manner in which the child did not understand that his actions were inappropriate (they also were not present in his life and he felt a lack of love on their behalf and acted out because of this). I agree with the comments above if you feel the situation is beyond your control as a parent I would seek a therapist. Monitor the people with whom your child associates they may be a bad influence also TV teaches children a lot more than they should know consider adding parental controls to certain channels you do not want him to access. I hope the situation improves. Looking for help shows you love your child. Take care and God bless.

[DeeTx]

If you find that the therapists in your area have a long waiting list, and they often do, contact the local school district's counseling department for possible resources. Many districts contract with a public health provider who might be able to help him sooner. If there is a college close by, check them out to see if they have a counseling department that provides play therapy. Be sure to take care of yourself when you feel frustrated with him. I remember how tired  pregnancy can make you feel and with him pushing your buttons, it has got to be stressful. Ask for some help to give you a break.

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

Yes, I do think that would be useful. But remember: he will change to the extent that you can make some changes.

[brittrae226]

do you think that it would help to get him in with a behavioral specialist? how long do you think it will take to get it back in control?

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

This will not improve overnight. Things are so out of hand you need some assistance with behavior management. It's best to arrange an appointment with a behavioral specialist and you can contact your insurance company to locate the appropriate provider.