saying no to school

[minna117]

When she started kindergarten she loved it. Then my husband and I decided that we where going to seperate. We have since moved from dad, and we had to change schools. I don't think that she likes her teacher very much, and every morning she says she does'nt want to go. She is coming home with red marks , yellow marks these are the way the teacher describes behavior. I am not sure that the teacher tolerates very much. I am considering putting her back in the school that she came from, but am not sure that this is the answer. The teacher says that she stares into space ,dosn't listen,dosn't do her work, and is doing beep-beeps. She actually thought that she was maturbating. She does this thing with her legs squezzing them and releasing. She goes into a trance like state. She has done this since she was a baby. We are doing some kind of conners test, to see the difference between home and school. She does not do beep-beeps ( what we call them) at home.What do you think that I can do to make the last three months of kindergarten a little easier on her and myself? She has been in school since she was 2 years old a private pre school. She loved it.And she loved the teacher at the school we had her in before.

[RStern]

I feel like I must be missing what "beep-beeps" refer to, so I can't comment on that.  But what stands out to me is how you started this post.

"...Then my husband I decided that we were going to separate."

I see a lot of children whose parents are separated or divorced, and many of them get labeled with ADHD.  Children react differently that we do.  When parents get divorced, some explain to their kids why and some don't.  Either way, kids can form their own conclusions and react differently to the news.

You certainly describe behaviors that could be "something," but then again - she might just be confused, distracted, or so many other things by the separation for her father and being moved to a different school.

Being a forum - don't take this personally.  I am sure you did what was best.  And those are the tough decisions we make as parents.

This is just something to consider...  These changes have an impact.

FYI - The Connor's Rating Scales are an ADHD measure.

And the leg squeezing - it could be nothing or it could be something.  Best bet would be to get your daughter some support (like a therapist, counselor) or someone to talk to and make sense of all this.

Let me know if I can help further.

Rory

[LRM1021]

I think your daughter has just had a lot of her environment changed rapidly-- no Dad at home, different school, different home. She is trying to deal with all these changes-- over which she has no control or any input-- as best she can.  Seeing a counselor would be a good idea so that you and she can start to work on helping her feel more comfortable with her new life.

[minna117]

Thank you for your comments, and no I don't take it personally, if I did I would have not posted anything. She will be starting with a counsler next tuesday. We shall see , I can only pray and be there for her. Thanks again. minna