six year old boy using diapers for bowel movement

[lisakara]

My six year old son will not poop in the toilet.  He has no problem urinating in the toilet and staying dry throughout the night.  When he has to poop he asks for a diaper, helps put it on and then goes to the bathroom in private and tells us when he is done.  We also have him take responsibility for placing the wrapped diaper down the trash chute  He has on a few occasions gone on the toilet (the last time a year ago) and can't really articulate why he won't but says he is afraid.  Our peidatrician recommending not pushing the issue but I am wondering will it ever end.  He does well in school, is very bright, is social and has no developmental delays.  We were laxed about toilet training and never really pushed the issue (my older son was trained between the ages of 3 and 4 and that was when we tried with my six year old).  He has a  very strong willed personality and sometimes I think he does not want to give in but I can also tell he is truley afraid.  We have tried saying he has to try or giving him a timeframe as to when we will stop buying diapers but it hasn't worked.  We are hesitant to push the issue to hard because I know he will withhold going (he has done so and made himself sick) and this could lead to accidents and other problems.  He is very private about the issue and does not want anyone to know that he uses diapers and we of course respect this and do not humilate him.  However, every few months we have been tried "pushing" the issue and insistint that he at least try.  All this has done is gotten everyone upset.  We then go back to "you will tell us when you are ready to try".  I just wonder if we should be doing more.

[sloui]

I've read about this problem before, and am not saying this is the case with your child, but many children his age are hesistant to go in public or shared toilets. Is the toilet in your house a shared toilet? Or is it his own? I'm not saying that this is the only reason he won't go since obviously there are other issues, but perhaps it is a contributing factor?

[Marie R]

Hi There,
   I know where your coming from I just finished this little task with my 3-3/4 year old daughter....follow your instincts make sure there is no medical reason for this...Then have a little talk with your little tot and tell him we have x amount of diapers left in the holder and when they are gone we will not buy anymore because we are a big boy now and big boys poop on the potty!!..the end... wait for an hour or so and remind him that there are say 5 diapers left...remind him each time he uses one how many are left and count them down to "0" diapers.. reminding him in a gentle happy manner that pretty soon he will be so pround that he doesn't have to wear baby diapers anymore..when you get to to the 3rd diaper left try to encourage the potty every so often reminding him that there almost gone and he can't poop in his new blue's clues underwear... make sure to let him pick out his underwear first and tell him it's a NO NO to poop in the UW...please cherish the look he gives you when you first tell him what the plan is (I thought my daughters eyes would drop out ...lol)anyway this worked for me... but when the diapers run out it will not be easy but DO NOT GIVE IN... let him poop in the underwear or cry and hold it (this will not be easy) but this is a growing experience for him that he has to learn "NOW" after 2 poopy panties and a call to the the pretend doctor all is well and no wet panties no accidents she is perfect in every way I'M BLESSED !!!

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

Your son is at an age when it is important to master this task. Your instinct in the past has been a good one - i.e., to set a date on which you will say good bye to the diapers. It's important that you stick to this; do not revert to the current practice. It is very likely he will go through a period when he is reticent about using the toilet. He may withhold stools and could become constipated. Confer with his pediatrician for guidance about a regimen that can help to prevent this. If her were two years younger I would suggest you simply stay the course. You have done the prudent thing, and you are to be commended for your patience and your supportive approach. However, it is time now to change tactics. If you are resolute, he will get the job done.