six year old waking up crying

[shausner]

for the past month my six and a half year old granddaughter has been waking up in the middle of the night and can't tell me why she is crying.  she seems to be only half awake and won't answer when we ask her what is wrong.  When we can finally get her to talk to us she tells us she doesn't know why she's crying or she is lonely (there are three adults in this house, along with two dogs).  When someone sleeps in the room with her she doesn't sleep because she can hear the other person.  We are at a loss as to how to solve this situation.  Any help would be appreciated.

[everlastingbabies]

My son had these same episodes - is your granddaughter very smart ? Like her little brain doesn't switch off even in sleep ??  That is what we felt with our son.  He would come to my room crying (almost hysterically at times) and I couldn't find any reason for it nor could I get any understandable words out of him.  What did work for him was to not touch him.  Not talk to him.  As hard as it is to do, I would just say "ok.  Go back to bed now". and leave it at that.  He would usually turn around and head back towards his room so a few seconds after him, I would follow just to make sure he was in bed and going back to sleep.  If it was a sleepwalk, he would go back to sleep as though nothing happened but if he woke up at any time along the return walk, I was there to comfort and put him back to bed.  
Also,  we found leaving lights on also helped.  He used to turn on his reading lamp and sleep with it on constantly.  So we bought a light which is on all the time and is brighter than the plug in night lights, but isn't quite as bright as the reading lamp - though I say it is too bright to sleep by.  BUT, it worked.  He doesn't seem to sleepwalk or have night terrors since we started leaving this light on in his room and he also has adjusted how he sleeps - the nights he sleeps well, he has a spare pillow over his eyes to darken the lamp.  The nights he has had issues, he has moved the pillow so that he has more light while he sleeps.  I don't understand it but what we really want is their comfort and happiness.  However we get it is what matters.

[shausner]

Thank you so much for your response.  We usually put her to bed around 7 but she doesn't go to sleep until about 8 or 8:30 because she reads to us and we read to her.  She doesn't seem overly tired and we lead a pretty quiet life.  The only extra curricular activities she has are drama and piano.  Our evenings are quiet.  We do put her back to bed each time this happens, but she only sleeps for an hour or so and then wakes up crying again.  I will look up some information about night terrors, but I don't think being overly tired is her problem.  We try to keep our evenings relaxed and not pressured. Thank you again for your suggestions.  And yes, we grandmothers do worry!  

[shausner]

thank you so much for responding.  She does well at school and has lots of friends.  She is a very sweet girl and gets along with pretty much everyone.  And from what I can see at school she is well liked.  Teachers love her because she is well behaved and quiet.  We read every night before bedtime.  She reads a book that she picks to us and we read to her books that have words that are still too difficult for her.  She loves to read and be read to.  None of us has slept in the room with her, but a couple of times she has gone to my daughter's bed and slept there for a couple of hours and then asked to go back to her own bed.  We have definitely tried not to give in to her and we make sure she stays in her own bed.  Thank you again for your suggestions.

[papaofone]

My daughter is experiencing the same and your explanation of your daughter is identical to mine.  Seven years later, how did she turn out?  I am curious to follow your lead and take your advice.

[mammo]

It may be that your granddaughter is having night terrors.  They normally aren't seen at this age, but it does happen.  Night terrors occur due to the child being overly tired.  They are not awake during the night terror and this is why they can't be comforted or responsive. Once they are over it, it is best to just out them back to bed.  She obviously doesn't need anyone to sleep in the room with her, and appears to prefer being alone.  Just make sure her days aren't so busy that she becomes overly tired. We grandmothers do worry a lot don't we?  Take care.

[margypops]

How is she at school, does she do well there ,get along with other children, have friends , if anyone sleeps with her once she will continue to want someone there and will say she is lonely.So the best way is to make sure she is tired , read her some stories,then leave her, if she comes out take her back,she will get it ,that it doesnt work someone will be with her if she yell,.be consistant.maybe she is getting mixed messages and knows you will give in to what she wants ...good luck