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Child Behavior Forum
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Avatar universal

teaching social responsibility to 10 yr old

My son is 10 and is very smart.  He does not seem to realize the effect of his behavior on the people around him.  I believe that if I could show him proof in writing or a study that he would believe me about his behavior.  He is not a mean child and he is very sensitive.  I think he does some things just to be laughed at and to be liked.  Is there anything out there you know of to help me teach him that being laughed at and being disruptive is not the way to be liked over the long term?  I would like to teach him to be a responsible member of the group and to be helpful to others to be liked instead of being disruptive and silly.
4 Responses
242606 tn?1243786248
MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
Dear Barb,

The goal you've identified is an important one - i.e., how to behave in a friendly, agreeable, responsible manner, in order to enjoy positive relationships with other people. This goal is best addressed by the ins and outs of daily living. Your son will not learn this by looking at printed studies - he will learn by virtue of his day-to-day experiences, and the impact that his behavior actually does have on himself and others. Hopefully, over many experiences, he will see that it is not in his best interest to do some of the things he is doing. This is the type of learning that takes place in the natural course of events. As a parent, you can guide him, but he's going to have to learn by experience.

Dr. KDK
Avatar universal
I have a nine year old daughter who seems to be going through the same thing.  Excatly the same thing -- a need to be funny.  She also is very creative and intelligent.  It has been a challenge for my husband and I.  However, I think I agree with Dr. KDK, I've found that she best responds to her "behaviors" by experiencing the affects of her behavior.  She has been embarassed in several situations where I feel she is learning a valuable lesson.  Slowly but surely she seems to be behaving "better".  I'm wondering if part of it is just maturity.  The other day dropping her off at school she noticed someone she wanted to notice her -- in so doing she fell out of the car, lost her shoe and back pack.  Part of her problem is learning to slow down.  By these embarassments (as much as it pains me) I think she's learning them.  Good luck to you -- I hope our children will eventually learn proper "social behaviors".
Avatar universal
I THINK IT A POSSIBILITY THAT YOUR SON HAS SOME INNER ISSUES WITH HIS SELFWORTH/SELF ESTEEM THEY MAY BE HIDDEN TO HIMSELF AND YOU.SEE I BELEIVE SOCIETY RAISES BOYS TO BE TOUGH ROUGH AND TO HIDE THERE EMOTIONS AND FEELINGS EXAMPLE TOLD TO QUITE CRYING YOUR A BIG BOY ETC..... SO SOME BOYS ATE A YOUNG AGE LEARN THE NEED TO BE TOUGH NOT SENSITIVE LIKE GIRLS AND THESE TYPES OF MESSAGES EARLY IN LIFE HAVE LONG TERM CONSEQUENCES AND GROW UP TO BE MEN WHO ARE NOT IN TOUCH WITH THERE TRUE FEELINGS IF YOU NEED FURTHER EXPLANTION ON BOYS WITH ABNORMAL BEHAVIORS PLEASE FEEL FREE TO WRITE ME I CARE MRS RUSH 9599 BRAYTON DRIVE #461 ANCHORAGE ALASKA 99507
Avatar universal
A related discussion, my 10 yr old was started.
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