Avatar universal


We have a preschooler who threatens to kill, burn, etc, hurts other kids, hit, spits, bites, head butts, and will stick sharp objects up at other kids threatening to kill them with it. I have asked if he knows what Kill means and he responds with: stop breathing, i wont see you ever again, etc so he knows 100 % what hes talking about. I do not have the training for this and have asked for those days off that i feel like im in danger. The preschool director has responded with that im wrong for asking. Am i really when I dont have the training? What do I do in this situation?  
8 Responses
189897 tn?1441126518
    The safety of the other children should be your and your directors (as that prevents law suits) first regard.
     Has he actually hurt any of the other kids? or does he only threaten?
     What seems to trigger his threats?
     Age wise - how old is he and how does this compare to the other kids in your care?
Avatar universal
I don't think you are wrong in reacting strongly to this. However, my main concern is with the child who behaves in such a way as it suggests that there might be serious neglect or abuse causing the child not to develop normally (= developping a desire/need to hurt or threaten others). As such, I do think that as a preschool teacher you have the responsibility of talking to the parents, hearing them out, and if needed, you should contact more appropriate authorities - or persuade your boss to hire a person who has specialised in this type of behaviour. This is incredibly important as empathy develops during childhood, and if due to neglect / or the child not being well, it doesn't develop normally, it can cause damage that simply cannot be undone. If this problem gets addressed when the child is older, it might be too late simply because the brain area responsible for empathy has passed the time of its most formative development.

If a child's behaviour gets so bad that you need to take days off due to fear, the child seriously deserves some attention and help. I agree that it is not your responsibility to give it, but you are in a position where you can do something about the situation - even if it is just organising other help. I understand it can feel scary and overwhelming, and I am sad to hear that you are not getting support or empathy (which you too deserve) from your employer, and as such, I would like to say that you have here an amazing chance to be good influence / or do something for someone who desperately needs it. That type of behaviour is never the child's fault - they simply behave in a way that makes sense in light of how they perceive the world.
Avatar universal
Most often when children react this way it is because of abuse or being bullied. But there are some disorders that can also cause this behavior purely because of brain chemistry but that is less likely. I'd definitely have my child see at least one psychologist / psychiatrist who specializes in childhood personality disorders and / or abuse.
Avatar universal
I reread the question and I would ask the director if they have contacted the parents about this behavior. If he or she has not and will not then I'd tell the director to contact the parents about it or I would report him / her to the better business bureau, your union if you are apart of one, or child services. Actually contacting child services might be a good idea no matter what. Also what is wrong with you? Why are you so scared of the kid but not as scared for the kid or the other children at the preschool? I doubt your coworkers are anymore able to deal with the child than you are. Whether you are there or not if a child gets hurt and you did nothing to try to prevent it you are just as responsible for it happening as everyone who is ignoring this danger. The director should be handling this situation but if they are not going to then someone needs to. The parents may have no idea of their child's behavior or they may be the ones abusing him. I'd also try to ask the child why he wants to kill the other children. Make certain he knows that he won't get in trouble. If he won't respond to your question ask him if any children ever hurt him or touch him in a way he doesn't like. Then ask if any adults ever hurt him or touch him in a way he doesn't like. If you have reason to believe an adult is responsible definitely contact child services because you never know if the parents are responsible, a family friend, or a co-worker. If you think it is a child then the director and the parents need to know.
Avatar universal
It sounds like this child may be exposed to violence in his home life. That in itself is worrying, because now he is taking what he is seeing out on other children. You may want to talk to the child parents or parent to figure out what his home life is like. Either way is probably consider having this child removed from your classroom, the last thing you want is other children thinking this is ok and starts repeating this behavior on other children. WOW just WOW! I wish you the best
Avatar universal
Let's go with the bottom line. Safety and protection. This child is a danger to his/herself and/or others. Since as an adult you feel like you are in danger and you will not be able to protect yourself, social services needs to be called.

The other children need to be protected, you need to feel safe in your work environment, and the child has behaviors that need to be treated. The longer it goes on, the worse it will get.

You personally can be named in a lawsuit -along with the Daycare owner/director (in the USA), if you don't report things and later some gets hurt.

You do not need to concern yourself with the reasons why the behavior is happening. It just needs to stop and other professionals can figure out the why.
Avatar universal
If you work in child care or the medical field or are a school teacher you are a mandatory reporter.bIf you suspect there is abuse of any kind or that this child or any child is exposed to violence you are required by law to contact the proper authorities (Department of Child Safey or CHild protective services) Let your boss know that you are going to contact them if she will not. I am not sure that I would discuss it with the parents before hand
Avatar universal
jamjam2016 Back in my day if i did that id be scared of the flogging the teacher would give me and the savage beating id get when id get home every kid was the same so we all behaved.
now days you can end up in a lot of trouble for even raising your voice at your kid so they know they can do and get away with anything.
a good flogging never hurt any of us something today's kids could do with as taking there phone away for a day doesn't seem to work
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