My 9 yr old will not sleep in her bed

[roxy1206]

How do I get my 9 yr old daughter to sleep in her room? We have lived in our town house for almost 3 yrs. My daughter has her own room but refuses to sleep in there. I haved tried a point system with her,charts, and even telling her she can't play outside if she doesn't sleep in her room. She always winds up sleeping in her brothers room. My sons complain about her sleeping with them when she has her own room. There has been times when she will stay in her room but in the middle of the night she gets up and ends up in her brothers room.

About 6 months ago my 9 yr old was sleeping in her room until she had a horrible nightmare that woke her up screaming. Since that incident she has not slept her room. What can i do to help her?

[ceva79]

i have the same problem with my 9yr old daughter ... night time is a nightmare for my husband me and my other daughter ..... during the day she plays fine she can lock herself in her room and has many friends ... she accelerates at school and is a straight A student .... but every night at 8.30pm she starts ... mum my tummy is sore, mum im scared, mum im sori for doing this but im realy scared, you dont believe me blah blah blah the list goes on ... like many other parents i have tryed reading books, talking, warm bath, warm milk, praying ect but nothing seems to work .... i have talked to her calmly and put her back in her bed ... but she will cry and cry and call out to me until she wakes her sister up ... my girls sleep in the same room .. my youngest daughter is 5 and she thinks my eldest daugheter is ridiculis .... even my 5 yr old trys to give my 9yr old advice ... when my 9yr old was young sometimes she will sleep in my bed but it wasnt regular ... these past few months its like evrynight she wants to sleep with me .... im exhausted and frasturated .... im like a walking zombie during the day .... i have asked her what her fear is and she told me that shes scared of loosing me or her sister ... she doesnt seem to say much about my husband ... everytime she closes her eyes she sees me being killed or taken away or she will wake up finding me dead .... i have no movies of gohst, demonds ect as i am totaly and complete against that and i am a very scared person myslef .... i am a strong believer in God .... my 9yr old tells me that sometimes her friends at school talk about scarey things .. i told her to walk away from it and tell them to be quiet ..... i know she doesnt have a really stomach problem but she makes herself sick from the anxiety and fear she has ... im taking her to the doctor today to see what he can do .... does anyone have any advice for me

[babygirl6152]

is she maybe having apnea? loss of breathing during sleep- I had it a few times when I was pregnant and it was SCAREY-

other than that sounds like insecurity- heck I hate sleeping alone!- but I can't crawl in bed with the nieghbor if my husband is out of town- so she is being disobedient, even though she may have a reason- it's likely not excusable to be disobedient to your parent/

Give her a soft teddy bear?
You could give her a flat date to stop it- like December 1- or whatever then give her a big reward when she has stayed 7 nights in a row like a one time prize- then at least you know she can-  and she will even have to acknowledge she is ABLE
Is her bed time consistent? no caffeine/ sweets?
Is there anything new she has to be insecure about?

[91004]

Have you talked to her about the dream to see what the problem is, it seems she is afraid of something and feels safer sleeping with others. I used to always want to sleep with my sister when I was younger because I was afraid to sleep by myself but she would tell me to go to my room and it worked I knew she wouldn't let me so I finally started staying in my room