why are people determine to know your past when all they do is make it worst?

[deathjr8863]

why do people always say sorry to people about parents abandoning them or in my case both of my parents, i dont see why people ask you about your past and bring back repressed feelings and then say sorry . why do people always want you to tell your story of the people that abandon you then expect you not to get sad ?i dont understan why people pressure others to bring up their repressed memories just so they can say sorry and then leave the person thinking about why they left and other emotional issues all day becaues that sorry that they utterd from their lips does not make those memories go away . . . .
- by the way im charles from CA 17 and was abandon by both parents at age of 7 an then at 13



This discussion is related to LONG TEM EFFECT OF ABANDONMENT.

[margypops]

You are welcome ,I understand what you mean, I like you, sometimes feel uncomfortable when things are brought up that I want to forget, do you know  what I do, I obsess and think about it for a few mins, then I tell myself,' Stop, its all done ,it all past, you are doing okay, all is well,' I might say that a few times, I get doing something, and it lessens and doesnt ruin my day ....

[deathjr8863]

thank you for your perspective i ask many people why they ask in the first placed and all they is they dont know i appreciate your resonse very much and and i have gotten passed the incident it just when people ask me it would bring back memories and emotions would just put me in an unsettle mood but thank you i will try not to get pissed at people because of what you said thank you
-charles

[margypops]

So I wont say sorry to you, I think it is a way for people to express how they think it feels, that you are sad and they are sorry you were abandoned  My guess is it still hurts, sometimes it is good to get some feelings out, that are repressed, it is a relief and helps .,I believe you have to be ready for it, many find that facing the truth of what happened helps them let it go so they can move on ,the memories wont go away, you learn to live with them, accept what happened and determine it wont affect the rest of your life ...counsellors very often ask you to tell your story so they may get a perspective how best to help you. ...let us know how you are doing ...