ConGestive Heart Failure Goodbye

[CPRobo]

What do you say to your wife of 39 years who is now in the last stages of CHF. She knows it and is afraid of the ending. She doesn't want to leave her beloved family.

I watch her everyday out of love and I can't stand it  knowing that the end is approaching. What do I say to a Princess?

Chuck

[theresafleming123]

I hope and pray your wife gets well! You are already doing all that matters, loving her. Having gotten diagnosed this year and have thought about it as well, because I have 2 children and a husband who I love very much, as long as there is any hope at all I would just want him to tell me hoe he loves and need me, but if it really was the end, what would help ke the most is for him to share memories , but let me know it's ok to let go, that he loves the Lord , and he loves our children and he'll be able to take care of our kids, and that we will met in Heaven , never to be separated again, :) , May Jesus be with you both, Theresa

[theresafleming123]

What a wonderful comment and inspiration, and I agree.  I was diagnosed this year with heart failure, and I think u are so right ,faith in God, and in yourself, loving well and go whenever you can :), God bless ,Theresa

[ketieruizguerra]

Why dont you ask her what she is afraid of.
She does not want to leave her family, but ask her if she is afraid od the familly falling apart or what?
You have to hel her start visualizing the future. First her future, i mean  the final moments, who or what she will be with, who or what she will be thinking of. You have to visualize that there will be no pain for her and
Second the future of the family she is leaving.  What about. The kids, will they be ok, you must help you picture a bright future of the familly so she wont be afraid.
You have to help her, and help you and your family to learn that after she is gone, you will miss her, but you will manage for you and your kids have the future she planned for you all as a family.
So, if you toghether can do this, you will ease her worries and she will be even more ready to go. With no fear, with no pain, cause after all. That you have. Lived and created together, there will be a promise to a better future for her in heaven and for you with you family.
hOpe i can help you. And I hope you can help her.

[Bruce10]

Would love to help with advice. I am 61 year old male fighting CHF for over 13 years now. Prior to being diagnosed with CHF I had been fighting heart disease since my first heart attack at age 34. I had several heart attacks throughout the years which put me in CCU 15 times. Considerable damage was done to the heart muscle (80%) and valves. Had a 5 way bypass in 93. My ejection fraction is 25 and I am in Stage 4 CHF. Sounds like I've been through a lot but, there is always HOPE. Love your wife daily and tell her so. Encourage her to change any bad health habits she may currently have and take her meds as directed faithfully. Get out of the house with her as much as possible. Take her to lunch, booksoire, etc. where she can hear and see people interacting with one another. Show her she still has a life and can still participate in some little way. Of course, prayer and Church is very comforting. Spiritual well being is crucial.
I have considerable pain both cardiac and with my peripheral artery disease of my legs along with myopathy but, still manage to get out 3 times a week. I cook meals for my wife and I and get enjoyment from that. You'd be surprised how much the body and heart can do even with end stage CHF. I am not a candidate for heart transplant as my respritory system is compromised that I would not survive the operation. Still, learn to handle the disease. Own it and offer it to God. He will help both you and your lovely wife. Participate in life. Celebrate Life and don't dwell over the end of life. I hope I helped just a little my friend.  

[missienal]

If it truly is time for goodbye, don't worry, you will know what to say when the time comes. And actually, most of us girls don't need you to say anything..it's just knowing you are there.

[rsarah99]

Wow, what an incredible thing to go through.  You must do whatever it is that makes her joyful throughout the day.  Create conversation, bring light into the room and flowers- I think that as long as you respect and listen to someone's wishes no matter the stage they are at- they will feel better and empowered- do not give up hope though! there is nothing wrong with that

[patti4981]

I think it's wonderful what you did. Sometimes my water pill, Foursemide doesn't work. I can't urinate at all. Then other times, it works ok. I sure need to lose weight. I moved to California where it is real dry and I gained 50 pounds in a couple of months. I am now living in Ohio and I stopped gaining weight. I wonder if the climate in California has anything to do with water retention. I have had CHF for two years and I take my medications just like my cardiologist told me and I take my water pill 40 mg once a day. I still eat potato chips which I love but I know I shouldn't because of their high salt. I wanted to go swimming indoors today but after being on the computer for three hours I was just too weak to walk to the pool. Well, I hope my kidneys are not failing.

[jrbon]

I am very sorry to hear your situation, but if this has not been corroborated by different cardiologist, I would advise you to look for a second opinion in a different center. I have seen cases where people with a death diagnostic, changed hospitals and they were able to fix its problems.

In the worst case, I cannot think anything to say, just show her all the love that you have. I think feelings are much stronger than words.

Jesus