mean old people

[bbxx]

http://newoldage.blogs.nytimes.com/2011/05/31/mean-girls-in-the-nursing-home/?hp

[narla]

You know what's funny,my parents were not there for me as a child,I was sexually abused by my much older brother,as an adult when I finally had the courage to tell my parents,they didn't believe me,My parents went out every night and left the older ones to babysit,
There were many other things that happened as a child our family was somewhat disfunctional,but he is still my father so I won't see him left alone,
I don't even know if I love him,their parenting was neglectful to say the least.
In the end I won though,by showing them how parents should be towards their children.

[bbxx]

Narla a lot of people abandon those who loved and cared for them regardless of being raised by parents that cared for their parents. You have a big heart and that is so great!

[narla]

My grandmother also lived with us when I was a child,it's just what I was brought with,

[R Glass]

Good for you.  When I was a kid that seemed to be the norm (unless medical care was needed).

[bbxx]

yay!

[narla]

My father lives with me,

[adgal]

One of the things I so admire about culture in places like India, most of Asia, etc. is the way they care for their elderly.  They tend to live with their children and are respected and revered.  Here it's sort of like "ok, they are old, life is over, lets stick em away some where and not bother with them".  I know, not for everyone, but it sure seems to happen alot.  When you travel in India, Africa, Asia, most of the world really, families take care of each other.  Entire famiiles help out new moms, they take care of their elderly.  Families stick together!  I love it!

That being said, my mom volunteers in a home where it is primarily Alzheimers and dementia patients.  She has been assaulted..not badly or anything, but it's happened.  It's the progression of the disease and it is so very sad.

[sweetpea03]

My great-grandmother was in an assisted living home for years before she passed away last August and I have to say that this kind of thing happens often. They all have their spots and can only be friends with certain people(lots of cliques). Sadly, a lot of the residents have no visitors at all. The lady who sat at the dinning table with my great-grandma had no visitors and was always lonely. I'd try and talk with her when ever I went, but my great-grandma was one cranky, mean old woman and would get mad when I wasn't talking to her, even for a small amount of time. The old people do come full circle, come in as a helpless child, bullying, etc and then go out needing help again, back to the bullying, etc. It's really sad. It would be nice to be able to have people stay at their own homes and have in home care, but that's expensive. I know my family would never be able to afford that, and we had my great-grandma in the best assisted living home we could find/afford. I'm glad her place had good help/friendly service and didn't smell like urine as some other places did.

[margypops]

It is awful..there has to be a better way ... My in laws kept their own place and had people come in and help, that's preferable I think ,that seems to make the difference staying in ones own place ..

[teko]

Having had the experience of working in these homes in my earlier years, I could tell you stories that would raise the hair on your arms. First when people age, they tend to go back to a childlike era. They reverse or go backwards so to speak. I have hear the old saying that we come into this world peeing and shtng our selves and go out the same way. There is much truth in that statement. It is also true that many of these people are forgotten by family and those who are hired to care for them many times are very mean to them. So to hear that some go into bully phase or domination phase is no surprise. They find a need to get some control over their life anyway they can. It is sooo sad.... You do for these people everything you do for a child, except they know how humiliating it is and a child doesnt.

[bbxx]

I was surprised on day when I was visiting the nursing home and there were people who never had anyone visit them. No kids, no grandkids, no one. Its really sad.

[margypops]

I just took a look at this and it doesn't surprise me at all, I think some folks have always been this way to some extent then being in a home away from their family may make them worse, also there is the dementia factor ..sad for the ones who get the brunt of it ...