Baby Daddy Nightmare

Question

My fiancee and I have been together 4 years and he ALWAYS use a condom. He became a father as a teenager so didn't want another unplanned child. We've never been pregnant. The past 5 months our relationship has gotten bad, almost violent (or threats of). We sleep in separate rooms (his choice) and I missed the intimacy.

Recently I had a one-night where no protection was used. He did *** inside me so I took the Morning After Pill the next day. Two days later my now ex-fiancée initiates sex and I sleep with him, mainly to cover up the guilt of the ONS. As always he uses protection, checks the condom to ensure no leakage. 

Today I am 6.3 weeks pregnant and freaking out who the Dad could be? Is it possible that the MAP did not work? Thanks all :)

AnnieBrooke · Accepted Answer

OK, first of all, the morning-after pill's website says it is effective 7 times out of 8.  In other words, it could be ineffective.

What you're giving me is -- and please check my work with your doctor, since he is the one with your ultrasound file:

No sex with ex-fiance for many weeks before sleeping with guy B.

From conception calculator:  Ovulation September 12
   (remember, egg only is viable 24-36 hours after ovulation)

Slept with guy B on September 13; no condom, ejaculated in you

Slept with ex-fiance on September 15; used condom

Ultrasound October 16; 6w6d gestational age

From 6w6d GA plugged into conception calculator:  Due date June 5
 

It sounds like quite a strong chance the guy B is the dad.  Not quite enough to rule out your ex-fiance, since the dates are only two days apart.  However, usually 6th-week and early 7th-week ultrasounds are spot-on for dating conception, and your ex used a condom, and you two used condoms all throughout the time of your relationship and never had a failure (meaning his method seems to be as effective as it can, with a condom).  I'd prepare for guy B to be the dad, and do the DNA test with guy B when the baby comes for sure.

BabyyMum · Answer

Thanks so very much AnnieBrooke! Your guesstimates are fairly solid. I will take a paternity test as suggested. Take care :)

BabyyMum · Answer

Hi, yes I was weeks 6 days as at 16 Oct. The 6 days 3 weeks was a typo on my part.

AnnieBrooke · Answer

OK, just to be clear, and I am not trying to be pedantic but your timeline really matters -- in your original post, you said "Today I am 6.3 weeks pregnant," and that post was written on October 16.  Above you said that on October 16 you were 6 weeks 6 days pregnant.  Which is it?  If we're trying to parse out really close dates, it matters.

BabyyMum · Answer

Sorry....the doctor was unable to determine correct due date because I wasn't 100% sure of the date of my last period. So he referred me for an ultrasound and the results came back as 6 weeks 6 days as at 16 Oct. The Sonographer never gave me my due date as she was in a bit of rush so I used one of the online calculators to work it out myself.

AnnieBrooke · Answer

I'm having just a little trouble getting things to line up. If you were 6 weeks 6 days on October 16, your due date would not be June 8, it would be more like June 5. You're saying the doctor gave you both the gestational-age figure (i.e., x weeks x days) AND the due date? Did the doctor say 6 weeks 6 days on the 16th, or 6 weeks 3 days on the 16th?

BabyyMum · Answer

The due date is based on the ultrasound scan.

AnnieBrooke · Answer

What I meant was, your due date was given to you based on the doctor or ultrasound tech looking at the embryo by ultrasound, not by the doctor hearing you say when your last period was and looking it up on a little chart or wheel, right?  Because the latter method is not useful for trying to date a pregnancy with the precision needed to figure out paternity.

BabyyMum · Answer

6 days 6 weeks as at 16 October. I was with the other guy on 13 Sept. My due date is approx 8 June 2014. Thanks AnnieBrooke :)

AnnieBrooke · Answer

And that due date was given to you from the ultrasound at 6 weeks 3 days?

BabyyMum · Answer

Hi yes my ex fiancée and I were not intimate at all for at least 6-8 weeks before I went with the other guy. My due date is 8 June 2014. Thank you :)

AnnieBrooke · Answer

Was there no other sex with your ex-fiance except that one time that was two days after the other?  Did the doctor who did the ultrasound that gave you the 6 weeks 3 days figure also give you an estimated due date?  If so, what was it?

Sheaby · Answer

There's honestly no way to know right now.  If you had intercourse with 2 different men 2 days apart, you're more than likely going to have to get a paternity test.  Sperm can live for up to 5 days in a woman's cervix, so it's possible the Plan B pill didn't work.  There are also plenty of stories about condom babies (my brother is one of them).  You're going to need to talk to both of them about the situation and let them know that either one of them could be the father.