Had sex with 2 guys, one day, now I am preggo and afraid!!! Help

[19932011]

I have been in a relationship for 2 years now, and have been trying to conceive since. He hasn't been faithful, so of course I went looking for revenge. My ex hit me up, and we did nothing that we haven't done before. This time, it was more careful. I had sex with my boyfriend May 14, 15, 16, and 17th. He did nut in me every single time.... my ex, however, I had sex with him on May 16th. Not even a full hour, and I saw him ejaculate! I know for a fact he didn't nut in me, he pulled out and had to jack off to get it out. We waited a few minutes, started again, and the second time he nutted, same thing. He ejaculated it out.. so Now, I am pregnant and afraid. I feel more guilty than anything because I allowed my boyfriend to turn me into a woman I am not and shouldn't try to be.. a cheater. And have allowed him to get me in a ****** up situation, knowing he wouldn't forgive me nearly as much as I've forgiven him... do tou guys think I am freaking out? Is this a coincidence?  Or am I totally ******??

[AnnieBrooke]

Also, if your last period was May 7, get that ultrasound this week or next. I can't exaggerate how helpful it will be to have a sixth week or seventh week ultrasound and how unhelpful it will be after your 8th or 9th week. This is the time to get one, do everything you can to get one and to get an estimated due date from the measurements of the baby. (A calendar date. Don't just let them tell you a weeks-pregnant figure and pat you on the head and send you away.)

[19932011]

And however, if my conception date is May 21... sperm can live up to 5 days inside women, so wouldn't that make my actually date of sex around the 16-17? And still I wouldn't know because I had sex with both of them. All I do is one ejaculated inside for sure and one didn't

[AnnieBrooke]

It would be the only thing you can do right now, and the window will close after now, that is non-invasive and actual medical evidence. If it suggests a conception date between May 16 and May 21 or 22, you still won't know. But if you get lucky and it suggests a conception date May 10 or May 25, that would be helpful to know.

[AnnieBrooke]

And, as I said, if you got an ultrasound in your 12th week or your 18th week, it would be too late to use it for trying to pinpoint conception. So the idea is to get one now on the chance that it will clearly point to a different conception date than the week of the 16-22, because this is the only time window where an ultrasound might help.

[AnnieBrooke]

Hi, first thing is to work out if you really did get pregnant from that eventful day. You might be going through all these worries for nothing.

This doesn't really solve your problem, though. The fact that you had sex with two guys and are pregnant can be figured out. The problem that is putting the fuel to the fire on the question of whether the wrong guy is the dad is the fact that you are in a relationship with a guy who doesn't keep promises of fidelity in relationships and you find that unsatisfactory. I would find that a deal breaker myself, since  that is who he is -- he is not going to change his opinion of such behavior being acceptable for him to do given the circumstances, no matter how long he is your boyfriend or whether you have a baby or not. Do you have a job and a stable life, and your own place? Or are you dependent on him? Because you really have some deciding to do, whether the guy is worth it or not, separately from the issue of any baby. And if the baby is from the wrong guy, you've got to get your ducks in a row fast to create a self-sustaining life.

And just so you know, if we can figure out if the sex with your ex was in the right time range, nothing you did in the bedroom with him makes it less likely that he is the dad.  Sperm lives in a guy's urethra after an ejaculation for quite a while, and you guys 'putting it back in' after he ejaculated means his pre-ejaculatory fluid from the second erection carried sperm into your body pretty much at the first poke. If you were ovulating then, or if you ovulated in the next 5 days (sperm lives that long), you could certainly have gotten pregnant from your ex.

So, let's figure out whether there is a chance that you got pregnant from the interesting events of May 16. It all depends on when you were ovulating. Are your monthly cycles super regular? Had you just had a period, or were you expecting your period? What makes you think May 16 was the day?

If you think May 16 is likely, you need to make an appointment with your doctor. You need to get an ultrasound, make the appointment for about six weeks after the first day of your last period, if your cycles are regular.

Make sure you can get an ultrasound, when you call for an appointment. If your doctor doesn't do ultrasounds in the early weeks, it might be because insurance won't cover it, so be ready to pay out of pocket. Or find another doctor who does. You need an ultrasound in your sixth or seventh week after the first day of your last period. After that, they are not as reliable to pinpoint when conception was.

When at the doctor, the nurse will always ask when your last period was. Just tell her that you are not sure when it came. (This is because you want to be sure they use only the embryo's ultrasound measurements to figure out its age.)

Anyway, get the ultrasound, and be sure they don't just tell you "weeks pregnant," you need an estimated due date. Also, if the doctor pulls out a little cardboard wheel and asks when your last period was, tell him you prefer to get an eestimated due date from the ultrasound. When you get the estimated due date, go home and either use an online conception calculator, or count back 266 days on a calendar, and that will be your estimated date of conception. For your sake, I hope it is not May 16-22, because then, you would need a DNA test, and if you want to do one before the baby comes, they are mondo expensive.

[19932011]

Thanks for responding... as far as finances go, I am working on it all. Ive also been sick with Ibs these past few years so it has been a lot going on... my boyfriend, has shown me a difference in this past year. First year, he was going hard. Second year, he took us more serious and can honestly say I've seen a huge change, but I was so pissed and wanting revenge, i still acted upon it. I wasn't looking for a way to cheat but my ex so happened to call around that time, at a vulnerable moment for me.
May 16th is the only day, I've ever cheated. That is when i met up with my ex, and did the do. Like i said, I saw him nut. We waited a few minutes just laying around, and then went at it again. Nutted in a sock, and we parted ways.. unfortunately, not even eight hours later in the day. My bf wanted to have sex, and I did to keep his mind from wondering..
My ovulation tests always come up negative. My cycles are always normal and on time. And I have a fertility app. To help keep up... i also have a perfect tracker app, saying my conception date was may 21, LMP may 7. But am unsure how accurate it all is. But my cycle was from may7 thru May 12. Which makes my most fertile day, i think, the 17th. And mt boyfriend and i had sex from the 14th thru the 17th. Everytime, he shot , he scored. And has been for two years. I just hate how it happened.
As bad as i want to believe my gut feeling (that my bf is the father) , i just feel so guilty and hurt in side

[AnnieBrooke]

Does "first year he was going hard" mean that he was cheating a lot? And "second year he took us more serious" means what? It obviously doesn't mean that he stopped seeing other women at all. Are you saying mostly did not cheat and you think this is a good thing because it is not as insulting and degrading as the previous year? Do you feel like your survival is reliant on you having to put up with this guy who cats around? Boy, that would hurt the heart. I would be making plans to get away from him, even if he were the dad. Being with nobody is better than being with someone that steps out on you. And this is especially true when you add a baby to the mix. If he is mostly just using you for a booty call, it's no good recipe for a happy future family life.

Let's talk about the dates. If the first day of your last period was May 7, the typical date of ovulation would be May 21, if your periods are quite regular. Do they come every 28 days? Like clockwork, never skip? If so the 17th is not when you would have ovulated, it would be a little too early.

[19932011]

Yes, they usually come on time. But I am looking at my calender and it seems my cycle comes every 19 days

[19932011]

Does thay make a huge difference?

[AnnieBrooke]

If your cycle comes every 19 days, it's kind of hard to understand your app saying you ovulated on the 21st of the month, it would have thought you ovulated on the 14th. Women ovulate 14 days before the first day of their next period. (Not, as many women believe, 14 days after the first day of the last period. Unless they have 28-day cycles, of course.) How many months in a row have you had a period come every 19 days?

[AnnieBrooke]

Sorry, it would have thought you ovulated on the 12th. So if your app that was tracking your fertility said you ovulated on the 21st, I would look again at whether or not it thinks your period comes every 19 days. I would also say, 19-day cycles are pretty short.