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Is this possible ?

I’m 28 weeks pregnant . I slept with man A on the 26th/27th May . I was taking norehistorine to delay my period that week .I stopped taking it on 29th May.  I had a period on the 3rd - 7th June .
On the 11th June I started sleeping with man 2 until mid July . I got a very faint positive pregnancy test on the 11th July and had an ultrasound on the 19th but they couldn’t see anything and I had to go back 2 weeks later . On the 2nd August I had a scan and was dated 6 weeks 3 days meaning i’d have conceived around the end of June/beginning of July . My 12 and 20 week scan confirmed the same due date of March 21st .
My question is , and I know it sounds ridiculous , is there any possible chance that the father is the first man ? I have anxiety and I can’t eat or sleep over it , it’s making me physically ill and mentally draining me . Is there any way possible that it could be the first man’s baby ?
1 Responses
134578 tn?1517087675
Not if the last time you slept with the first guy was May 27.
It was the last time , he lives in a different country . So there’s no way that either his sperm survived that long or that I conceived and Just took a very long time to implant ? Sorry , I know this must sound ridiculous and rationally I know is not possible . But I can’t help but think ‘what if?’
We see on this forum often that women who are stuck on a "what if" that they know to be unrealistic are really stressing over something else, not over who the dad is. I can drop the list in here of the kinds of things that stress women who are pregnant, that they let settle on the (easier to solve) straw-man issue of who is the dad, instead of having to face something more nebulous or harder to solve. I assume you know in your heart that the first guy can't be the dad. Here is the list:


When someone does not believe the medical results and obsesses that the person (who the dates do not suggest is the dad) is the dad, they usually don't believe any test including a DNA test, preferring to indulge in dramatic statements like  "But what if the test is WRONG?!?!?"

It's also pretty common that solving questions about the dates and paternity doesn't help.  

Every woman having this problem (not believing the dates and early ultrasound, or even a DNA test) has a different reason they are anxious.  It could be guilt over her behavior.  It could be catastrophizing, such as if their partner found out they cheated, their whole life as they know it will end and the world will explode. It could be worry they won't be a good parent, or wishing the other guy was the dad and being ashamed of it, or resentment of their partner, or old-fashioned shame of being an "unwed mother," or fear of childbirth, or feeling God will punish them, or not really wanting to be a mom, or it could be something else. Those worries are not easy to control, especially if the problem is shame or guilt, since the action of having had sex with someone that the woman now wishes she had never had sex with can't be taken back and the person just has to live with the fact that she did it. (This latter kind of lingering angst often is a specialty of women who have never had to face up to having done something 'wrong' that can't be taken back, glossed, or fixed.)  

When such a feeling drives anxiety, the brain hates that it doesn't feel solvable. A person's mind in this kind of existential stress often lets the anxiety settle on something more cut-and-dried that to the brain feels more controllable. (Like obsessing over the dates and what if the father is someone else, what-if what-if what-if.)  

No amount of rational explanations of dates will solve worries if they come from something else. Talk to a counselor about your fears and your fears will begin to leave.  


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