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Paternity question

My lmp in April was the 11th-17th. I had sex with guy 1 April 22nd and he came in me and we also had sex on April 27th but he pulled out. I took a pregnancy test April 29th came out negative. In May, My period came May 7th-13th. ( well which I think was my period, it could be implantation bleeding idk I don’t really remember if it was heavy or not). I had sex with guy 2 on May 19th & May 23rd. He pulled out also. May 19th was the FIRST TIME I had sex in May. According to my period tracker my average cycles are 26-28 days, if my period in May was in fact a period then I ovulated on May 20th & my fertile days were May 15-24. Then I had sex May 27th with guy 1 again but he didn’t pull out. I highly believe guy 2 is the dad even tho he pulled out simply because it looks like I conceived around that time possibly. My next period was supposed to start 6/3 but it didn’t come so on 6/5 I took a pregnancy test and it was positive. I confirmed with the doctors that I was in fact pregnant with their pregnancy test on 6/6.

I got an ultrasound done on 6/26 and according to that The doctor changed my edd from 2/11 to 2/4 & said my lmp was 4/30 & I possibly conceived may 14th but that’s NOT true because my period in April came on the 11th and I don’t think having sex from April sperm could’ve lived that long for me to get pregnant in the middle of May especially since he pulled out the last time we had sex.  My second ultrasound was 9/5 and my third was 9/10 and all 3 ultrasounds are saying the same edd of 2/4 Which doesn’t make any sense to me. I know they say early ultrasounds are the most accurate but it seems here that it isn’t that accurate at all or is it that my baby could be measuring bigger than normal? The doctors say that I’m 23weeks & 6 days but I really think I’m 22weeks & 6 days. I’m not sure but I’m extremely nervous. I think my real EDD is February 11th. Advice please.
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134578 tn?1614729226
What gestational age were you given for the embryo on June 26, did they tell you a "weeks and days" figure for the pregnancy on that day? Do you still have a copy of the ultrasound? It might be printed on it.
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Sorry, I should clarify. The gestational age (GA), which is the weeks-and-days figure, is not in fact given "for the embryo," it is given to describe the current length of the pregnancy time period. This includes time before getting pregnant and starts on a calculated first day of the last period.

If your doc calculated that your last period began on the 30th (even though you knew it actually began on the 7th), he or she was saying that based on how far along the embryo was, a person who had ovulation at the average cycle's middle point would have had a period begin on April 30.

From what you've said, it sounds like at the first ultrasound, if it was on June 26, the doc would have said you were 6 weeks 1 day GA or 6 weeks 1 day "along," or 6 weeks 1 day "pregnant." Is that what he or she did say?
Oh, phooey, just recalculated on my calendar and if a doc said to you on June 26 that you probably had a period on April 30 [even if you didn't] and conceived on May 14, what he or she would have told you regarding gestational age on June 26 would have been 7 weeks 1 day, not 6 weeks 1 day.

Anyway, what GA *were* you given on June 26? [Was it either of these?  :) ]
On 6/26 the ultrasound tech asked me when was my lmp and I told her May 7th and she said okay and told me I was 7 weeks & 1 day and my edd is 2/11 but on 7/17 when I went to see my midwife for my second doctors appointment she said after looking at my ultrasound I was a week ahead so on 6/24 I thought I was 7wks & 1 day but was actually 8wks & 1 day.
Can that just mean my son is measuring bigger than normal? The guy I slept with on May 19th & May 23rd is 6’5 so he’s a really  tall Guy. Could genetics take its toll in this part even though I was early in my pregnancy? Cause I thought embryos grow at the same rate in the 1st trimester.
Just in case someone reads this later (since your question is answered now), no, embryos don't grow at the same rate in the first trimester. Only in about the first 4 or 5 weeks of embryonic life (which is what the doctors call 6 or 7 weeks GA). After that they can diverge, and by your 12th week of pregnancy, a doctor will always say "plus or minus a week" if you ask for an estimate of conception.
134578 tn?1614729226
Do you know for sure what she meant when she said "I was measuring a week ahead"?
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No I’m not sure I think it means my sons is measuring bigger than normal but I have no clue
She might have simply meant that if counted from the first day of your last period, you would have had a due date of the 11th, but if counted from the information in the ultrasound, you would have had a due date a week earlier. In other words, be commenting on the discrepancy between when your last period actually was and when it would have been if computed from the conception date based on the baby's size. Lots of women ovulate early in their cycles, that is not actually going to prove anything here if that is what the midwife was talking about.
134578 tn?1614729226
And, when you say that on July 17, the midwife looked at your ultrasound, was the midwife looking at the ultrasound from 6/26 or did you have a new ultrasound?
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Yes she was looking at the 6/26 ultrasound
So, you got an ultrasound on June 26, and at that time the tech told you that you were 7 weeks 1 day. She asked when your last period came, can we assume she didn't use that to get the 7 weeks 1 day count, but instead used the information from the measurements of the embryo and its developmental markers?
Do you have a copy of the ultrasound? Do you have anything like a crown-to-rump measurement from it?
Yes I have the picture of my ultrasound should I send it to you ?
134578 tn?1614729226
No, just look for a number like CRL, in millimeters.

I have to leave for a while (sorry, it's a volunteer site, and I've got to do something). Will get back.
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Okay & no I don’t see anything that says CRL .. I see a few different numbers on the side of the picture but idk what they stand for and at the bottom right corner it says my lmp how many weeks I am & my edd
So, it says:
Ultrasound date: June 26
first day of your last period: May 7
gestational age: 7 weeks 1 day
estimated due date: February 11

Is that correct to what is printed on the ultrasound?
Also, did you have any other ultrasounds in your first trimester?
Yes that’s what it says and no I only had one in my 1st trimester. My second one was on 9/5
134578 tn?1614729226
OK, well, here is some of my thinking. There really is only one puzzle in your story, and that is, why the doc said you were a week "ahead," if that is the exact word she used, when she read your 6/26 ultrasound. According to the numbers above that you have confirmed are written on the ultrasound, it didn't indicate that you were anything but right on track. If she could see an embryo size on the ultrasound that you can't see, and felt that it conflicted with the rest of the numbers, it seems like she would have said this was why you were supposedly a week 'ahead.'

Was "ahead" your word or her word? You're taking it to mean "go back in time on the calendar one week and say conception was one week earlier." Was that because your midwife told you to do this, or was this something you did after she told you something else? Because (as you have explained) you didn't have sex at the right time for conception one week earlier to make lots of sense.

If we assume she was right, this gives you two areas to evaluate. One is to re-check everything based on hard data, not on memory or assumption. To do this you need contemporaneous records and the ability to remember exact words the doctor used and to sort it out from what you understood the doctor to be saying. You would also need all the dates you had sex to be confirmed from something (bills for products, calendar, app), and also to be certain you didn't forget to write one down.

Trying to understand why you got three exact dates that match that seem to be from three separate ultrasounds can be tricky. Here is what *might* have happened, but you might never have any way to confirm.

If a reliable, relatively early ultrasound is done, many doctors never change the due date, even if later ultrasounds suggest a different due date. This is actually good medicine, because growth rates can diverge from the average over time as embryos develop, making the first ultrasound the most on target for determining an estimated due date. If your doc or midwife has had a lot of experience with this fact, he or she might simply have made the rule that the first EDD is the best EDD, even if a later ultrasound would give a different EDD. This would mean that the second and third ultrasound having the same EDD would not be independent confirmation.

As I said, always using the first ultrasound is usually the sensible approach. The only time it is not, is if the first ultrasound was off for some reason. But she apparently said what she did about your supposedly being "ahead" early in the process, before your second ultrasound. So you still need to know why she said it even if you write off the second and third ultrasound's EDDs as meaning anything useful.

If you have already given your midwife pushback on the question of dates, she might just think this is the patient seeking reassurance and would just say nice and reassuring things, which would mean you won't get serious help with this question. Doctors don't love to be questioned, and don't always remember why they said something 15 weeks ago, and in fact might stick by their story rather than saying they made a blunder. So you would have to be super tactful and super clear, if asking why your midwife said what she did 15 weeks ago when reading the 6/26 ultrasound. To do this, you need a clearly marked calendar of the dates of sex, so she can see what you're getting at. But I don't give you more than a 50/50 chance of hearing what you need to know to understand her thinking back then, even if you went in and did the best presentation of the problem ever.
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And I'm sorry, I need to leave again. I'm typing in the morning, and we're in the middle of moving, and my husband is standing by in antsy fashion. Will come back.
The 6/26 Ultrasound says seven weeks and one day when I went to my appointment July 17 my Midwife said from looking at my ultrasound I am a week ahead than I thought and my estimated Conception date is May 14.I did not have sex until 19 May. I’m not sure if the ultrasound was a little off but there’s no way I could have conceived on the 14th because I just got off my period on the 13th of May and the sexual intercourse I had previously before May 19 was April 27 using the pull out method.
I know for a fact exactly when I had sex because I’ve been tracking my period for years on a period app and I always put in when I have sexual intercourse I never forget to do that. Plus from April 30 to May 6 I was on vacation so I wasn’t having any type of sexual intercourse with anyone Then on May 7 to May 13 I had my menstrual cycle so I was not having any sex that could possibly lead to conception right after my menstrual cycle.

I think if I had conceived from the sex in April I will be much further along than what my ultrasound is saying and I will be due early to mid January. So I had to in fact conceived in May but I didn’t have sex until 19 May and then again on May 23 according to My period tracker app My fertile window was between May 15 to May 21 and I ovulated on May 20 which will make perfect sense even though me and my partner used the pull out method.

I did sleep with an Ex On May 27 and I want to rule him out as the potential father. We did not use the pull out method.

Since I feel like my ultrasound scans are wrong I’m worried that maybe I can be even more less pregnant then what the ultrasound is saying And could have possibly conceive from the sex I had on May 27

I’m starting to think maybe ultrasounds only measured the size of the baby and not necessarily accurate on the age from conception. I’m not exactly sure the guy I slept with is a very tall man maybe genetics is playing it’s part and maybe that’s why my child can be measuring bigger than normal but I honestly don’t get this and I’m so confused and I wanna make sure I didn’t tell my partner that he’s the Father if he isn’t.
I think you need to ask your midwife to get out the 6/26 ultrasound, and to show you on the actual ultrasound where it said anything that suggested your baby's size was measuring in such a way as to indicate you were a week "ahead."
Okay and after that what should I do? I’m really nervous about this all
The reason you want to know if the 6/26 ultrasound was right or wrong is that the 6/26 ultrasound indicates you conceived around the 21st. If the tech was correct in naming your due date, it strongly suggests the father as being the pull-out guy, and that would be that. But your midwife looked at the 6/26 ultrasound and said that the dates given to you by the ultrasound tech were wrong. So, obviously, you need to know why.

If you think you can't manage to explain to the midwife why you need to know, you could ask to have a different doctor to read the ultrasound (the u/s from 6/26) and get his or her opinion on whether anything about the image suggests the dates on the ultrasound given by the tech could be wrong. But if you are intending to continue with this midwife, maybe she would consider this a hostile act. If you don't want to change doctors or get a different opinion, you have to do some figuring.  Maybe she saw a crown-to-rump measurement or other developmental indicator on the image that indicated to her you were a week further along than what the tech said. (You tell me there is no crown-to-rump measurement on the ultrasound, but possibly some of the other abbreviations are of that measurement.) Or, maybe she thought something was not right about the ultrasound. (You didn't get it at one of those walk-in anti-abortion places that offer free ultrasounds, did you?) If you got the scan at the hospital or at an ob/gyn's, it's hard to understand why your midwife would question it.

You asked what you should do after you ask the midwife to explain what made her say you were a week "ahead." If you get a clear answer, such as, the crown-to-rump measurement indicates it, or something else you find compelling, then go over with her the dates you had sex. Explain you didn't have sex before the 19th by a large gap, and that you are trying to rule out someone on the 27th.

I think that just doubting the midwife's interpretation is no reason to say "I feel like my ultrasound scans are wrong." The scans are probably right, it's just somewhere in the chain of interpretation, something changed the date you are being given. You need to find out if it was for a legitimate reason.
Okay Thankyou I have an appointment on the 20th would that be too long to come back to speak to you?
No, feel free. This is a community designed for women who are trying to figure out this kind of issue.
So I saw my midwife yesterday and she said ultrasounds are just estimates and that genetics can play a part to why babies measures bigger than average size even in the 1st trimester in pregnancy.....I’m still confused
You might consider talking the whole thing over with an ob/gyn experienced in these matters. It sounds like your midwife didn't have any medical basis for saying you were measuring a week "ahead."
She said according to my 1st ultrasound the size of my baby is the reason why why she said I’m measuring ahead
However, that is not what the ultrasound tech said. I would check with a doctor.
What type of doctor should I look for since she’s already a doctor ?
I'm simply talking about getting a second opinion, from an ob/gyn. People get second opinions all the time. You are otherwise stuck with guessing what the original ultrasound really meant.
I would also add, a midwife is not usually a doctor, or she would go by "Dr." and her card would say "M.D." after her name, and the people in the office would not have you call her a midwife but would have you call her a doctor. But what I said already still goes if she is a doctor or is not a doctor. Doctors don't love to be questioned, and in fact might even stick by their story rather than saying they made a mistake. So you would have had to be super tactful and super clear, if asking your midwife to explain what proof she really had 15 weeks ago when reading the 6/26 ultrasound. It seemed pretty obvious that the sonographer said one thing about the baby's size and the midwife said another, and sonographers are the ones doing the measuring and the measurements are pretty straightforward.

To get your midwife to understand the urgency of your issue to the point where she would go back to the original data and reconsider her reasons and re-figure what she did 15 weeks ago (and isn't just staying with what she said because she thinks you are asking merely how a baby could be a different size than expected), you would have to have come in with a calendar noting when you had sex, and mark on the calendar when conception would have had to be in order to go with what she indicated (i.e., that it didn't indicate the possibility of the baby being conceived when she implied it was), and on the calendar you would have had to show where the ultrasound tech's information put conception and how that makes sense, and you would have had to do this without making your midwife feel defensive. You would have had to do the most clear and nonthreatening presentation of your issue that could ever be done, and even then, I didn't give you more than a 50/50 chance of learning what you needed to know, because docs just don't like to be questioned. They are very busy, and can't remember, and don't always understand what people are asking. Your midwife sounds like she did a fine job of saying ultrasounds can't always be used for this purpose, but didn't give you the added info that early ultrasounds are pretty trustworthy, and later ones are less trustworthy.

Anyway, rather than grill a midwife about why she said what she did 15 weeks or more ago, in your shoes, I would simply ask for a consult with an ob/gyn (an M.D. with a specialty in obstetrics and gynecology). Have your records transferred there for the consultation, and take along the original ultrasound (the first one) also. When there, lay out the calendar and the ultrasound and say what those things seem to be saying, and then ask if there is any reality to the idea that someone reading that very first ultrasound would say you were measuring a "week ahead."

The reason I don't think the midwife's comments match the situation is that in the sixth or seventh week, no matter how tall the father or mother is, the baby will have only been developing for five weeks, and there has not been a time for any baby to get "a week ahead." The baby simply hasn't had time to grow and develop so much faster than normal.

One thing I asked but you never answered is, was there some reason she would not trust the ultrasound you had? Was it done at her hospital or clinic, or did you go to one of those walk-in places where they mostly do ultrasounds in order to persuade women not to get abortions, for example? If that were the case, I can understand your midwife not necessarily believing what the ultrasound said. But if she didn't believe it, she didn't believe it, and that doesn't explain why she would use it to say you were a week ahead.
Hello I had my son on the 3rd of February my water broke on the 2nd and I was due February 4th so the midwife was right on the timing because my baby was on time but I’m still confused on who my child father is ilU know they say sex from April would make a January baby not a February baby but the first time I had sex in May was 5/19 and the last time I had sex in April was 4/27 so I don’t get how I could’ve conceived on the 14th of May
Do u believe I got pregnant from the sex I got from May With guy 2 because I think he’s the father but I’m not sure. I did sleep with guy 1 again on 5/27 but that would’ve made my due date 2/17 which is mid February so I think that’s too far to rule out right?
Hi, well, it sounds like the sex from May 19 produced the baby. I would not worry at all about the sex later in May that you were trying to rule out (you said it was around the 27th) because it would be too late. And the sex from April 27 was way too early, plus you had a period after it. This sounds totally like the guy from the 19th is the dad.

You're thinking that because the baby's birth date suggests conception on the 14th and you would have to have had conception on the 19th, that it is wrong? No. If a baby comes in the last week before their due date, even if the baby is a few days earlier than the exact due date, that is considered very normal.

I don't see it being anyone but the guy on the 19th. Get a DNA test (if you are going to ask him for child support, find out from the family court what kind you need for it to be admissible) and move on. Congratulations on your son!
Thankyou sooo much I appreciate it !
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