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Slept with two guys in the same week
I have a question I slept with two guys in the same week of May 27-30th. My last period was May 15th. The first guy we used a condom the second guy we didn’t use any protection. Now I’m pregnant and not sure who’s the father. Please help me.
COMMUNITY LEADER
I've posted this list before. It is ways to determine who a dad is before the baby is born, in order of time (when to do them). If one does not work, then you move on to the next.
1 - Take your calendar in of when you had sex, and ask your doctor to help you understand when you conceived (when you ask, use the actual c-word "conceived," don't just ask for a number of weeks "along" as an answer to this question). Explain when you had sex with whom, and see if the doctor can advise you as to who is the dad by the dates of the sex. This is the cheapest and easiest way to get an answer. If the dates are too close to call, the doctor will say so.
2 - Get an early ultrasound: i.e.: around your sixth or seventh week from the first day of your last period. (Fourth week is too early, eighth week becomes a bit too late. The later in the pregnancy, the less precise it is to use an ultrasound to determine conception because some babies can grow faster and some slower than average). Have the doctor give you an estimated due date from the measurements of the embryo without the first day of your last period influencing the assessment. Then take that estimated due date home and either count back 266 days from it on a calendar, or put it into an online conception calculator, to get your estimated date of conception.
3 - Get a prenatal DNA test. Don't use one of the cheapie so-called labs that advertise heavily on the Internet. They are mostly low quality and unreliable, and getting an "answer" from them can provide a justification for someone too get out of fatherhood if he wants the answer to be a certain way. You need to be sure. Either use Ravgen or the DDC. They are costly, so only go this route if:
- your dates are too close for the doctor to be able to advise you,
- you have the big chunk of money that they cost, and
- you are willing to test with both potential fathers. (One man's positive result will back up the other man's negative result, serving to provide you peace of mind.)
Neither Ravgen nor the DDC's tests are invasive nor harm the baby; there is a blood draw from the mother (her arm) and cheek swabs or blood draws from the potential fathers. Ravgen can even do what is called "discreet" testing with a swab from a drinking glass or a toothbrush. But beware, there are many charlatans in this field, so stick with one of those two labs. We see them mentioned favorably often on this site and the only times they have been bad-mouthed, it seemed to have come from a troll.
4 - After the baby is born, get a DNA test for paternity with both fathers. (It is much cheaper once the baby is born than the prenatal tests are.) Use a legitimate lab recommended by the family courts in your area of jurisdiction. Do not use a drugstore test.
If either of the possible fathers will not willingly test, you will need legal counsel to enforce a test after the baby comes. Don't test with one guy and just assume the other guy is the dad if the first one got a negative result. You need to be sure from a certified lab where people go with I.D. and are photographed, that you have a legitimate result.
1 - Take your calendar in of when you had sex, and ask your doctor to help you understand when you conceived (when you ask, use the actual c-word "conceived," don't just ask for a number of weeks "along" as an answer to this question). Explain when you had sex with whom, and see if the doctor can advise you as to who is the dad by the dates of the sex. This is the cheapest and easiest way to get an answer. If the dates are too close to call, the doctor will say so.
2 - Get an early ultrasound: i.e.: around your sixth or seventh week from the first day of your last period. (Fourth week is too early, eighth week becomes a bit too late. The later in the pregnancy, the less precise it is to use an ultrasound to determine conception because some babies can grow faster and some slower than average). Have the doctor give you an estimated due date from the measurements of the embryo without the first day of your last period influencing the assessment. Then take that estimated due date home and either count back 266 days from it on a calendar, or put it into an online conception calculator, to get your estimated date of conception.
3 - Get a prenatal DNA test. Don't use one of the cheapie so-called labs that advertise heavily on the Internet. They are mostly low quality and unreliable, and getting an "answer" from them can provide a justification for someone too get out of fatherhood if he wants the answer to be a certain way. You need to be sure. Either use Ravgen or the DDC. They are costly, so only go this route if:
- your dates are too close for the doctor to be able to advise you,
- you have the big chunk of money that they cost, and
- you are willing to test with both potential fathers. (One man's positive result will back up the other man's negative result, serving to provide you peace of mind.)
Neither Ravgen nor the DDC's tests are invasive nor harm the baby; there is a blood draw from the mother (her arm) and cheek swabs or blood draws from the potential fathers. Ravgen can even do what is called "discreet" testing with a swab from a drinking glass or a toothbrush. But beware, there are many charlatans in this field, so stick with one of those two labs. We see them mentioned favorably often on this site and the only times they have been bad-mouthed, it seemed to have come from a troll.
4 - After the baby is born, get a DNA test for paternity with both fathers. (It is much cheaper once the baby is born than the prenatal tests are.) Use a legitimate lab recommended by the family courts in your area of jurisdiction. Do not use a drugstore test.
If either of the possible fathers will not willingly test, you will need legal counsel to enforce a test after the baby comes. Don't test with one guy and just assume the other guy is the dad if the first one got a negative result. You need to be sure from a certified lab where people go with I.D. and are photographed, that you have a legitimate result.
1 Comments
Okay thank you so much!
COMMUNITY LEADER
OK, well, so far, then, you have a probable latest date to get pregnant of June 5, (June 6-8 if you used a First Response Early Results test), because your pregnancy would not have shown up yet on a home test if the sex that got you pregnant was much later than two weeks before the test and you say you tested on the 19th. And with your period beginning May 15, it's not too likely that you ovulated any earlier than May 19 at the way earliest. Now we have to look for other information to narrow down that interval.
Are your cycles (from day 1 of bleeding of a period to day 1 of bleeding of the next period super, super regular? Could you set your watch by them always coming on (for example) day 28? Or do they vary and jump around so you never know for sure if it will be day 25, day 29, day 32?
Are your cycles (from day 1 of bleeding of a period to day 1 of bleeding of the next period super, super regular? Could you set your watch by them always coming on (for example) day 28? Or do they vary and jump around so you never know for sure if it will be day 25, day 29, day 32?
2 Comments
My periods are normally regular. But they don’t come on the same exact days each month. It’s always within that week. So if I took the pregnancy test and it was positive maybe it was from the beginning of the first week of May when I had sex with the guy without a condom. I can’t remember if it was a long flow or short.
I took a test last week on Tuesday of June this month.
COMMUNITY LEADER
Hi, when did you find out you were pregnant?
2 Comments
And did you sleep with one guy regularly all month and the other only in the May 27-30 time bracket? Or was the only sex you had in the past month (with anyone) during the time period of May 27-30?
I found out I was pregnant last week on Tuesday. I took a home pregnancy test and it was positive. The one I slept with throughout the month of May was the one I slept with without a condom. I only slept with the second guy on the 27th with a condom once.
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