Way to tell mine or his

[ckester542]

Ok So april 7 we took a pregnancy test at like 4 pm it came back as one bold line then a faint second well she went to the doctor that day for some meds that required to take another one well it came back the same. so we went and got blood done and then took two more pee test at about 4 pm and 9pm and they both were the same. then the blood work came back as positive the next day.
So she had sex with me March 23 and any day before that and she hooked up with a ex any day from march 24 and after. so the question is could it be mine or his o and she had her period on Jan 30, and march 4 (guesstimate). And what should i do to help find this out

[AnnieBrooke]

I think you should let her know that you will still want to do a DNA test once the baby is born, even if the doctor has said the sex the two of you had was 7 days before the conception of the baby.  Just to be sure.  Be consistent with her and kind.  You never know, she might ultimately change her mind in your favor if you are a gent and he is a pig, no matter who the father is.

Good luck.

[ckester542]

O jeez i mean be with her if they dont work out i love her that much

[ckester542]

im still confused just a bit its showing to be his but i didnt go to this appointment they gave her a due date of DEC 21 so i plug that in and it says implantation would of been around the 8th of april we took two pee test that came back positive that day and then the 8th of april a blood test that came back positive it normally takes 6 days or more for a home pregnancy test to show positive after implantation. so that doesnt make sense. And the first lady told her she prob conceived the 25th of march but then the obgyn did that wheel thing i guess from the ultra sound and got that due date and a conception of the 30 prob. and a ultrasound can be off 3-5 days as well. and also i know for a fact she had her period on feb 26 and she follows a pretty regular cycle we figured. but according to that caculator her period would of been like march 16 and thats way wrong so is it possible that the doctor doesnt have it right and the baby is not developing as fast.

Side note she is with him now at first she was with me wanted it to be mine and not his at all and i wanted to know who she wanted to be with it frustrated her and she totally changed her mind and wanted it to be his instead after saying i was the better choice so right now she is with him because from the doctor its more then likely his. and yes im still willing to be with him if they dont work out cuz they are trying to work it out the last i knew anyways.

Sorry for it being so long lol

[AnnieBrooke]

If you want to have a relationship with this woman, are you willing to do so whether or not the baby is yours?  (Unless, that is, she has already chosen the other guy and you were just hoping that if the baby was yours she might be persuaded to change her mind.)  But if a woman is going to have a baby and does not have a husband [or boyfriend] who is stepping up, she would look favorably on a suitor who does step up, especially if he is willing to do it unconditionally.  

[ckester542]

Yea i figured i guess it never hurts to have hope :( thanks for all your help

[AnnieBrooke]

About 7 days after you had sex, especially since she had sex after that with someone else, really does mean it is very unlikely.  If you are still unsure, get a prenatal DNA test (from one of the reputable companies only), or wait until the baby is born and get a DNA test done then (very reliable if you go to a court-certified lab, and nowhere near as costly as the prenatal tests).  But it sounds like it would be a major surprise if the dad is you.

[ckester542]

Also though this is very hard for me is it possible for it to be mine. we had sex the 23 of march and the doctors are saying possible conception is march 30 to april 1st thats what her ogbyn said and that her due date is dec 21. is there any hope of it being mine

[ckester542]

Well she had a ultrasound and basically ruled me out said that she conceived about 7 days after we had sex and the doctors told her it was very unlikely to be mine. the dont know period so they went off of fetal development and she was 7 weeks 5 days which means she ovulated late thanks for the help

[AnnieBrooke]

That first one is:

http://www.nytimes.com/2012/06/20/health/paternity-blood-tests-that-work-early-in-a-pregnancy.html?pagewanted=all&_r=0

It looks like the last four characters didn't transmit.

[AnnieBrooke]

I'll give you links to a couple of articles, and you can make up your own mind about what to do.  My strong suggestion is to test both of you (potential dads).  Keep in mind also that you will need to do a DNA test again once the baby is born, because so far the courts do not accept a DNA test done from the mother's blood before the baby is born.

http://www.nytimes.com/2012/06/20/health/paternity-blood-tests-that-work-early-in-a-pregnancy.html?pagewanted=all&_r=1&

http://www.newscientist.com/article/mg20827893.200-the-danger-of-unreliable-paternity-tests.html?full=true

[ckester542]

Well what are the reputable companies because having peace of mind knowing that it is mine will be great

[AnnieBrooke]

Since you don't know for sure if she had a period that began on March 4, the only way to narrow it down is to get an ultrasound early, such as after her 5th week but before her 8th week, and if the due date suggests a date well before March 23 or well after March 24 it might give you a clue.  (For example, if she didn't really have a true period in March, it might indicate a date in February for conception.)  But if you think conception would have definitely been within the week of March 20, then you can't tell who the dad is because no ultrasound can tell you the difference between March 23 and March 24.  

There is a prenatal blood test that can identify the dad, but if you go to one of the two reputable companies (don't go to the shady ones that only advertise on the Internet) the cost will be very high, like $1,800-$2,400.

If she gets an ultrasound and it pinpoints the week of March 20, you are not going to be able to know until the baby is born.    

ps -- Keep in mind that if someone gets an ultrasound and the tech tells them a gestational age like this -- "You are 7 weeks 4 days pregnant," it means 7 weeks 4 days since the last period, and only 5 weeks 4 days since conception.  If you want to know about conception, don't ask the tech "How 'far along' is she?" or you will probably get an answer based on the first day of the period.  Specifically say "When might she have conceived?"  If you don't use the c-word you will get information that might not help.