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Which man is the father?

My LMP was 7/28/20. I had sex with guy 1 on 8/8/20 but we used a condom except the condom broke but we only had intercourse for like 5 mins. He didn’t ejaculate in me so we didn’t continue to have intercourse. I finished him off with a blow Job which took time. He also claimed to have masturbated prior to us having sex and using the bathroom as well. Then guy 2 we had sex 8/9, 8/11 and 8/12. The baby is due 5/4/21. Which means i conceived 8/11. I never once thought the baby was guy 1 so i didn’t consider an abortion. But now I’m concerned due to reading about precum and it being a higher chance than i thought. So i just want to know is guy 2 more likely the father ? (Hoping he is)
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134578 tn?1614729226
COMMUNITY LEADER
Hi, roxie, let's first check the accuracy of the statement "Which means i conceived 8/11." How did you get your due date, was it from an ultrasound?
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Yes it was from an ultrasound
And at what point in the pregnancy was your first ultrasound? (Was that the one where they gave you a due date?)
Yes my first ultrasound was 9/14 and i was 6w6d
(In other words, you went to the doc and got an ultrasound, and they told you your due date then. How far along after your last period was that?)
OK, then it sounds like the estimated conception date is pretty close, either spot on or maybe off by a day or so. Then, the question is, whether using the loo after ejaculating earlier would have been enough to clean out any leftover sperm from his urethra. Is the baby a boy or a girl?
My lmp was July 28-August 1
The baby is a boy lol
OK. Well, here is how I'd assess it.
- The fact that your ultrasound was in the 6th week since your period began (or near the beginning of the 7th week) is more useful, where one in your 12th or 18th or 20th wouldn't be that useful, for trying to split the difference when the dates of sex are so close together. Ultrasounds are more accurate for trying to determine when conception was  if they are done early in the pregnancy. The embryo has to be big enough to see in the scans, which means for example that the 4th or 5th week since the first day of the woman's last period is usually too early. And later it can be an unreliable way to measure because of differences in how fast or slowly babies develop in the womb. But 6w6d from the first day of your last period is as close to good as it gets, if using a ultrasound for this purpose. It is considered to have a margin for error of perhaps +/- 1 day.  
- A guy has masturbated, then gone to the loo. Did his urethra get totally cleaned out from the urine when he peed, or did some sperm remain in the urethra to catch a ride on the pre-ejaculatory fluid later that day when having sex? There's no real way to know. If he hadn't ejaculated for days including wet dreams and had had three pots of tea and peed five times, you could probably take some comfort in the possibility that his pee had washed away all the sperm from the last time he ejaculated. But ejaculating that day and peeing once (or even twice), there just isn't any way to know if his peeing cleaned his urethra of all sperm. Sperm is said to be able to last 4-6 days in a woman's body, so if some of the little fellows managed to hitch a ride into your reproductive tract on his pre-ejaculatory fluid after the condom broke, the first guy would be in range to help produce a baby on the 11th even though you had sex on the 8th.
- However, there is the Shettles theory.
(Excuse me, I have to interrupt and hit 'send.' Will come back.)
The Shettles method is used by couples trying to get a boy or girl by timing sex in relation to ovulation. It's based on the notion that Y-carrying sperm (i.e., those destined to produce a male) swim faster but die sooner, and X-carrying sperm (due to produce a female) swim more slowly but live longer. The fact that your baby is a boy hints at the possibility that the second guy, with whom you had sex on the 11th itself, is more likely to be the dad. Shettles is still a theory, but those who try it say it works with more than average effectiveness.

So, overall, your second guy is totally not ruled out, and your first guy is less likely. This is all guesswork and speculation, and if it is a life and death issue, you might consider doing a prenatal DNA test. They are more costly by about ten times than waiting until the baby is born and doing a DNA test, but at least you would know.
I read about that theory and it never crossed my mind the first guy was the father tbh until i started reading about the possibility of precum because it’s always Been said yo be rare. Me and guy B have always had unprotected sex and he would with drawl before ejaculating And i never got pregnant . So i was hoping this time around guy A would be a slim chance since he didn’t ejaculate inside me
Well, re-read the above. I think the first guy has a more slim chance than the second guy. The second guy's timing is better (though the first guy's doesn't rule him totally out) and the second guy had lots more chances. If you want to be sure (and have the big bucks to pay for the test), there's info at the top of this community about getting a DNA test before the baby comes. In any case I would get a DNA test with both guys once the baby comes, to be certain and never have to wonder.

Have to sign off now. Add any questions and I'll check in the morning for them.

Annie
Thank you so much for your help
Regarding whether getting pregnant from sperm in pre-ejaculatory fluid is rare, well, we hear all the time on this site from women who used "pulling out" and got pregnant anyway. It doesn't help that the guy ejaculated prior to having sex with you -- you said it like possibly you thought it was a good thing, like it could have meant he had no sperm left for you. But actually there is a better possibility that sperm was still in his urethra, peeing or no peeing, because of the ejaculation than if he hadn't ejaculated for many days. But overall (for other reasons) it still sounds like his chances of being the dad are less than the second guy's chances.
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