Which one is it

[MirenaRoss]

I had sex with my boyfriend May 20th. He came in me twice that night. Took a home pregnancy test June 06th, came back positive. Prior to that while me and my boyfriend were broken up my ex tried to have sex with me on May 10th but I was too dry n he didn't/couldn't get in n I petty much stopped it. I cant remember how far along I was when I had my first dr. appt. But my first ultrasound, which was to determine the babies sex was Sept 2 n I was 18 weeks according to them. My Lmp had to have been around May 3rd or 4th but I told them April 29th. So im guessing the due date Is off. Is my boyfriend the father?

[ShelbyH09]

Hey...Who ended up being the father?

[MirenaRoss]

Ok, thanks

[AnnieBrooke]

Your boyfriend and your ex are both in the running.  If your ultrasound had been earlier, it would tend to suggest the ex, but the margin for error is pretty wide by now and encompasses both guys.  You do need the DNA test to know for sure.

[MirenaRoss]

that they go based off your last period. And the nurse told me according to my ultrasound my due date is right. But according to you thats give or take a week. Which would put my bf in the running right?? Specially since I gave them a first day of my lmp that was actually a few days later then what I gave them

[MirenaRoss]

Im so greatful for you. I tried reaching out to my ex but all he keep saying is that he just remembers he couldn't get in. And ive read alot of your comments to people I understand

[AnnieBrooke]

Even if your ex didn't get in, there is still a chance, as long as his bare, erect penis touched your vagina.  You could get a positive on a home test in the time period you mentioned, May 20 to June 6 is not too soon to tell.

[MirenaRoss]

I mean if you have sex May 20th and find out June 06 from a home pregnancy test, is that too soon to tell?

[MirenaRoss]

So even if my ex didnt get in, there is still a chance it could be his?? And we are planning on getting a DNA test. But with just my boyfriend since I don't even want to bring up the incident.

[AnnieBrooke]

Thing is, if your 18th week ultrasound was at 18 weeks 0 days, and IF (a big if!!!!) it was spot on and correct, you would have conceived on the 13th.  That is too early to be your boyfriend's, but a perfect time to be your ex's due to the long life of sperm in a woman's reproductive tract.  But as I said already, the margin for error in trying to use an 18th-week ultrasound to date a pregnancy is more than a week, meaning that if the estimated day is the 13th, the range could be anywhere from the 4th through the 22nd or even wider.  A guy who has recently ejaculated can have sperm in his urethra, and getting an erection would mean fluid in his urethra from his Cowper's gland, and that fluid could carry the sperm up and into your vagina.  You don't say he was wearing a condom or that there was any barrier to the transmission of fluid even if he did not penetrate you.  All (in theory) he would have had to do is touch your vaginal lips with his penis head.  

What you have, then, is a date that might (but might not) suggest the ex, counterbalanced by the fact that he did not penetrate your vagina (but did touch it with his bare penis) and that your boyfriend did penetrate you and ejaculate fully.  In other words, there is no way to know.

If you can't bring yourself to tell your boyfriend what happened (and I can see that claiming it wasn't sex because he didn't succeed in getting it inside you is a pretty weak argument -- you were trying, after all, to have sex), get a DNA test with the other guy when the baby is born.  Do it officially, don't let him give you a swab and say it is from him or anything like that.  If you are going to take him getting a negative as proof it is positive for your boyfriend, the samples have to be handled by a neutral third party at a certified lab.

This may be moot, because I will bet you a nickle that your boyfriend's parents will insist on a DNA test before they help support the baby in any way, and that they will lean on your boyfriend to insist.  But if they don't, and if you can't bring yourself to confess, get the test with the ex, but make it an official test.

[MirenaRoss]

No he doesn't know. In the beginning I didn't feel the need to because I was for sure it was his because we actually had sex and he finished in me twice. I didn't think there could be a way its my exs since he never actually even got inside me. Im only questioning it now because my bf parents Don't like me and keep telling him the baby isnt his. And he asked me if I had sex but I told him no. Because technically I didn't . But his parents are actually just starting to get to me. They say its not his so much it has me questioning myself

[AnnieBrooke]

Without a DNA test, there is no way to really tell, at this point.  If you had had an earlier ultrasound, it might be possible to make an educated guess, but since your first ultrasound was not until your 18th week, the margin for error is +/- a week or more by then for trying to guess a conception date from it.   Does your boyfriend know you saw someone else when the two of you were on the outs?  If so, when you do the DNA test, test with both guys.  And don't do a drugstore test, use a lab certified by the courts for determining paternity.  That way you will get a definite positive (rather than, if you just test with one guy, perhaps getting a negative ... that really is not quite as good.)